The number of things that have changed for me since I've started this diet is astounding. I can't say which of these things is directly related to the diet and which is not, because I am not a scientist. But I am someone who has lived in this shell for the last thirty-eight years and, therefore, has a pretty good understanding of the norm.
Let's start with my sleep habits. For years I have had difficulty falling asleep at night. I've been known to lay down at ten at night and watch every hour pass by on the clock, one by one, without so much as a wink of sleep. This has happened so often that the concept of even setting an alarm became more of a precaution should I fall asleep, rather than a given for waking me up in the morning. I often "awake" feeling more tired than when I laid down. Just as the day is about to begin, I am ready to start sleeping. I often attributed this to being a "night" person, and for awhile worked night shifts because of it. I never really attributed it to a sleep problem because I could sleep just fine if it were the middle of the day. Naturally you would assume I have sleep apnea, especially being severely overweight. Except, this problem dates all the way back to junior high and persisted during periods of my life where I was not overweight.
When it was at its worse, I became so desperate that I would eat a heavy carb loaded meal before bed in the hopes that it would knock me out enough to get some sleep; similar to what happens on Thanksgiving! It became that eating the wrong foods close to bedtime would actually help me sleep, rather than keep me awake as it does with most Americans, or so I thought. When that sleepiness began to follow every meal and not just the ones I had close to bedtime, is when I knew something was seriously wrong not only with my sleep patterns, but also with my body's ability to metabolize a meal.
For the last two weeks I have had less of a problem falling asleep at night. I'm still a night owl and I still don't fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow, but I am actually getting sleep! I know this because I awake recalling dreams- something that hasn't happened in a really long time! Sure it could be the change in weather, maybe a reduction in stress, perhaps the new sheets, but I think it is because of the paleo diet! When you've had chronic sleep problems you're entire life and now all of a sudden you are dreaming every night, well that's pretty terrific. I don't want to jinx myself but I'm praying that this continues. Robb Wolfe certainly believes our ability to get restful sleep is connected to cortisol levels which are exacerbated by a grain filled, carb loaded, diet. Having made the decision to eliminate these foods has certainly improved both the quality and quantity of the sleep I am getting.
I have more energy. I have had an easier time getting my day started and have energy levels that remain even throughout the day. Generally, I awake exhausted, drag myself through the day, and just as it's time to start winding down I get a second wind, which keeps me up all night and into the next day. I'm sure getting sleep has helped tremendously in this regard, but on a more closely examined level, my meals restore my energy, as opposed to landing me in the arm chair where I must digest a meal for several hours before resuming my day.
Finally, I feel happy! I always feel depressed on a diet, like every eating decision is nothing more than a reminder of how much a fat slob I am and how many things I can't have! It doesn't feel that way this time. Even though many things have taken off the menu, I still feel excited about the choices I do have! Maybe for no other reason than it pulls you out of the monotony of what you have been eating. I seriously do not feel deprived. This I believe to be for two reasons. One, I am using the "80% rule," which is to either follow the diet one hundred percent, 80% of the time, or follow it eighty percent, 100% of the time. Or as Mark Sisson sees it, strive for 100%, knowing you will achieve eighty.
Two, is something very pivotal which Robb Wolfe said. "Stay in the moment!" Don't worry about tomorrow's meal, or how you're going to handle Easter. Don't think to yourself, "I'm never gonna be able to do this!" Wait and see first. Don't focus on, "I'm never gonna be able to have carbs the rest of my life." Just worry about the moment! If in that moment you can make it through another meal without bread, do it! If Easter comes and it's too much for you not to have Aunt Betty's potato salad, then have some! But for God's sake, don't ruin something that is working for you simply because you siked yourself out and worried about a failure that hadn't even arrived yet! This small concept has helped me, "embody the woman I wish myself to be!!!"
What's most remarkable is that none of what I just mentioned has anything to do with weight loss. I am excited about how this diet makes me FEEL!!!! That's never happened before. I haven't even worried about the scale. So let's hope that part is working too. I believe that it is, but I will be confirming this on this Tuesday for "Weigh-in Tuesday, " which we will now resume.
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" - Robert H. Schuller
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
PARTY LIKE A GROK STAR!
I may have something in common with our early ancestors; an eating style. If by definition the word Grok means, to intimately and completely share the same reality or line of thinking with another physical or conceptual entity, than I am to the caveman, a Grok! Never in my life has a lifestyle change so agreed with me! What I have experienced in the last seven days alone has gotten me excited! I was dying to type this entry last week already, but held off hoping to give this experiment some more time and, thus some more legitimacy before jumping to any conclusions.
Look, all diets work. Anytime you are conscientious about your food and exercise decisions there is a payoff, is there not?! The diets never fail. It is us who fail on the diet. Is that because we are all just weak-willed, gluttonous, individuals at heart? Maybe, but I think it has to do with finding the right fit. See, if we're gonna be honest here, few of us are willing to hang in there if there isn't, by our definition, a real payoff. That payoff can be to look better, feel better, lose weight quickly, have more energy, stave off a serious condition, whatever. For some of us, it has to do all that and more in order for us to remain compliant. For me, I'm not quite sure what I was looking for or what it might take for me to actually get behind a certain diet, but I may have just found it. If there is a cure for insulin resistance, this may be it!
Insulin resistance is nothing more than a severe addiction to carbs. (That's my conclusion, BTW) What makes it different or more dangerous than say just some ordinary person who likes to munch on cookies and ravioli, is there is a physiological dependence there. The eating behavior has gone on for so long that the body has come to expect it, and depend on it! Just like breaking an addiction to a drug, your body fights you with "withdrawal" symptoms every time you try to lessen the addiction. Now if you've been fed a whole bunch of lies your whole life about the food pyramid, you may not be aware of any of this. I wasn't! For years I thought the solution to my problem would be a cup of fiber cereal every morning, no red meat, and jogging like a maniac, even though clearly that wasn't working. I had no idea I had a carb addiction that was so severe it was literally killing me! Because, yes, while I joke about being in love with macaroni and cheese, the truth of the matter is, I've spent nearly three quarters of my life on a diet, which means I've had a lot of bowls of Fiber One in my lifetime, a lot of lean turkey on whole wheat bread, and a lot of baked crackers as my indulgence. Who's thinking these things are carbs in the same sense that macaroni and cheese is!?
It's not until I tried this Paleo thing on for size that everything started to come into focus. My body has stopped responding to insulin because I've had one too many bowls of "healthy" cereal in my lifetime. If you think about it, if three quarters of the time you are eating fiber cereal and whole grain breads and snacks, and one quarter of the time, when you snap and can't envision another day of Fiber One, you are eating bowls of macaroni and cheese and ordering pizza, then you have a recipe for Insulin Resistance my friend! Carb + Carb = systems failure!
We shall call my imaginary caveman friend Grok for the time being like Mark Sisson did. Grok and I have so much more to tell you about this. This discussion is far from over so be sure to tune it tomorrow to hear more of my findings.
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor." -Christian Barnard
Look, all diets work. Anytime you are conscientious about your food and exercise decisions there is a payoff, is there not?! The diets never fail. It is us who fail on the diet. Is that because we are all just weak-willed, gluttonous, individuals at heart? Maybe, but I think it has to do with finding the right fit. See, if we're gonna be honest here, few of us are willing to hang in there if there isn't, by our definition, a real payoff. That payoff can be to look better, feel better, lose weight quickly, have more energy, stave off a serious condition, whatever. For some of us, it has to do all that and more in order for us to remain compliant. For me, I'm not quite sure what I was looking for or what it might take for me to actually get behind a certain diet, but I may have just found it. If there is a cure for insulin resistance, this may be it!
Insulin resistance is nothing more than a severe addiction to carbs. (That's my conclusion, BTW) What makes it different or more dangerous than say just some ordinary person who likes to munch on cookies and ravioli, is there is a physiological dependence there. The eating behavior has gone on for so long that the body has come to expect it, and depend on it! Just like breaking an addiction to a drug, your body fights you with "withdrawal" symptoms every time you try to lessen the addiction. Now if you've been fed a whole bunch of lies your whole life about the food pyramid, you may not be aware of any of this. I wasn't! For years I thought the solution to my problem would be a cup of fiber cereal every morning, no red meat, and jogging like a maniac, even though clearly that wasn't working. I had no idea I had a carb addiction that was so severe it was literally killing me! Because, yes, while I joke about being in love with macaroni and cheese, the truth of the matter is, I've spent nearly three quarters of my life on a diet, which means I've had a lot of bowls of Fiber One in my lifetime, a lot of lean turkey on whole wheat bread, and a lot of baked crackers as my indulgence. Who's thinking these things are carbs in the same sense that macaroni and cheese is!?
It's not until I tried this Paleo thing on for size that everything started to come into focus. My body has stopped responding to insulin because I've had one too many bowls of "healthy" cereal in my lifetime. If you think about it, if three quarters of the time you are eating fiber cereal and whole grain breads and snacks, and one quarter of the time, when you snap and can't envision another day of Fiber One, you are eating bowls of macaroni and cheese and ordering pizza, then you have a recipe for Insulin Resistance my friend! Carb + Carb = systems failure!
We shall call my imaginary caveman friend Grok for the time being like Mark Sisson did. Grok and I have so much more to tell you about this. This discussion is far from over so be sure to tune it tomorrow to hear more of my findings.
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor." -Christian Barnard
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A PALEO HOLIDAY
My short ribs turned out amazing! Seriously, amazing! It was a perfect substitute for a holiday meal. I didn't once think about the holiday food I was missing out on. I generally serve this stew over egg pasta (surprise, surprise) with a garnish of sour cream and chopped green onions (similar to Beef Stroganoff) but the braised meat and vegetables stood fine on their own. My in-laws joined us for dinner so I did boil some pasta for their sake. I gave my husband the choice too garnish or not to garnish and he took just a wee bit of pasta and sour cream. We have since been enjoying the leftovers, minus the no-no's.
I have done this Paleo thing darn near perfect. A few minor indiscretions (I too helped myself to some sour cream and just a wee bit of pasta) but nothing even close to what would normally get consumed on a holiday. I'd say I have been just over ninety percent compliant, bearing in mind that you can do anything one hundred percent when it is short term, but the difficulty increases with duration. Because I don't plan on abandoning this eating plan anytime soon, I am okay with some small infractions in the name of staying on the diet. And by infractions I mean the worse thing I've had in the last six days was some potato starch in one of the prepackaged soups I ate, and the wee bit of pasta and sour cream I just described. Everything else has been exactly as directed.
I've had NO BREAD for an entire week! Not an English muffin, bagel, toast, roll, muffin, croissant, scone, biscuit, waffle, pancake, cereal, sweet, candy, cracker, pretzel, chip, cake, pie, tart, doughnut, (taking a breath) cupcake, pastry, cookie, macaroon, pudding, meringue, trifle, chocolate, krispie, brittle, taco, tortilla, pita, wrap, bun, (second pause) rice cake, melba toast, bagel chip, wheat thin, corn chip, cous cous, quinoa, oatmeal, a grit...I think you get the point. May I say as a carb addict, this is truly a miracle.
"It's so logical and so simple. Fat is the back-up fuel system. The role it plays in the body is that when there's no carbohydrate around, fat will become the primary energy fuel." -Dr. Robert Atkins
I have done this Paleo thing darn near perfect. A few minor indiscretions (I too helped myself to some sour cream and just a wee bit of pasta) but nothing even close to what would normally get consumed on a holiday. I'd say I have been just over ninety percent compliant, bearing in mind that you can do anything one hundred percent when it is short term, but the difficulty increases with duration. Because I don't plan on abandoning this eating plan anytime soon, I am okay with some small infractions in the name of staying on the diet. And by infractions I mean the worse thing I've had in the last six days was some potato starch in one of the prepackaged soups I ate, and the wee bit of pasta and sour cream I just described. Everything else has been exactly as directed.
I've had NO BREAD for an entire week! Not an English muffin, bagel, toast, roll, muffin, croissant, scone, biscuit, waffle, pancake, cereal, sweet, candy, cracker, pretzel, chip, cake, pie, tart, doughnut, (taking a breath) cupcake, pastry, cookie, macaroon, pudding, meringue, trifle, chocolate, krispie, brittle, taco, tortilla, pita, wrap, bun, (second pause) rice cake, melba toast, bagel chip, wheat thin, corn chip, cous cous, quinoa, oatmeal, a grit...I think you get the point. May I say as a carb addict, this is truly a miracle.
"It's so logical and so simple. Fat is the back-up fuel system. The role it plays in the body is that when there's no carbohydrate around, fat will become the primary energy fuel." -Dr. Robert Atkins
Saturday, April 23, 2011
EATING IN CONTRAST
It has been an interesting week. I think I have created quite the dynamic for myself. We kicked things off with some extreme carb eating, which not only allowed me to rid my pantry of all non-paleo foods, but it also served as a means of comparison for the start-up of the paleo diet. I then dove deeply into a completely grain and carbohydrate free eating style. So far, so good. I made note of all the physiological characteristics I experienced during and prior to carb fest, and have begun doing the same with my now protein pumped menu. I am literally a human experiment!
It is too early to draw any real conclusions, but I can tell you that I have noticed some changes. My husband switched over a day or two before me, so he too must be feeling some changes. He did complain of a slight headache and some gas. I am happy to report that I'm not sick, I'm not without energy, and my usual Meth-like symptoms are no worse than usual. I'm not going to say it's been easy, but so far it's been worth it. I plan to stick it out a bit longer and see where this takes me.
Tomorrow is Easter and I have a good plan in motion. First, skip all family functions where an abundance of carb loaded food will not only be served, but forced on you. Two, come up with your own tantalizing meal that does not leave you hankering for Easter bread and ham gravy. I am making Irish Stew. It's a very tasty dish of short ribs in a braising sauce with some root vegetables.
"The pride you gain is worth the pain." Dennis Ogilvie
It is too early to draw any real conclusions, but I can tell you that I have noticed some changes. My husband switched over a day or two before me, so he too must be feeling some changes. He did complain of a slight headache and some gas. I am happy to report that I'm not sick, I'm not without energy, and my usual Meth-like symptoms are no worse than usual. I'm not going to say it's been easy, but so far it's been worth it. I plan to stick it out a bit longer and see where this takes me.
Tomorrow is Easter and I have a good plan in motion. First, skip all family functions where an abundance of carb loaded food will not only be served, but forced on you. Two, come up with your own tantalizing meal that does not leave you hankering for Easter bread and ham gravy. I am making Irish Stew. It's a very tasty dish of short ribs in a braising sauce with some root vegetables.
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!
"The pride you gain is worth the pain." Dennis Ogilvie
Thursday, April 21, 2011
HOTTER AND HEAVIER
He had taken the bait and I was devastated. I was convinced it was a hopeless situation. His parents had threatened to send him to military school if he didn't break it off with me, and their constant berating had finally caused him to look elsewhere. I hated them! They had gone from disapproving to being all out mean. I felt worthless. I couldn't understand what it was I had done for them to dislike me. I was a nice girl who did good in school and went to church every Sunday. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, and I had never been anything but nice to Mark and his family. They made me feel so ugly, like I just wasn't good enough for their son.
News of our break-up traveled around school. I had envisioned Mark's parents popping champagne. I had become so sad. I already felt self-conscious because I was overweight and now the one person who loved me had been taken away. Who was going to take that much interest in me again?? It's the perfect girls who get spotted from across the room, remember??
One day, weighed down from the sorrow of this couple, Kevin (Mark's best friend) had come to tell me a secret. Mark's dad did indeed hate me because I was fat! Mark had dated other chubby girls and his father never approved. I found this ironic considering his dad was a severely bloated version of Newt Gingrich with hemorrhoids! Mark's mother was tall and thin like Mark. The answer sat right there in the arms chairs of their living room. Mark's dad wanted for his son, what he had married. Forget the fact that they weren't happily married and Mark had always complained about how f*cked up his parents were. Mark's older brother had moved all the way to Australia to escape them. He was gay and apparently not accepted by them. You would think given the circumstances they would be happy for any girl Mark brought home, but no one seemed to meet their standards.
News of our break-up traveled around school. I had envisioned Mark's parents popping champagne. I had become so sad. I already felt self-conscious because I was overweight and now the one person who loved me had been taken away. Who was going to take that much interest in me again?? It's the perfect girls who get spotted from across the room, remember??
One day, weighed down from the sorrow of this couple, Kevin (Mark's best friend) had come to tell me a secret. Mark's dad did indeed hate me because I was fat! Mark had dated other chubby girls and his father never approved. I found this ironic considering his dad was a severely bloated version of Newt Gingrich with hemorrhoids! Mark's mother was tall and thin like Mark. The answer sat right there in the arms chairs of their living room. Mark's dad wanted for his son, what he had married. Forget the fact that they weren't happily married and Mark had always complained about how f*cked up his parents were. Mark's older brother had moved all the way to Australia to escape them. He was gay and apparently not accepted by them. You would think given the circumstances they would be happy for any girl Mark brought home, but no one seemed to meet their standards.
I ended up dating more boyfriends with bad parents and started to develop a complex about it. I never really got over it, nor did I ever regain my self-confidence when it came to meeting family. I was mortified when it was time to meet my husband's parents and I probably remained somewhat mean and mistrustful of them for far too long. That meeting had gone the best, but I was also thin and beautiful by then. Would the reception have been different had I been the chubby girl I once was??
I eventually found out that Mark had cheated on me many times. I was the slut ruining his future according to mom and dad, but he was the one had been with several girls, including the cashier he alleged to only be friends with. It was for the best that this relationship ended. The girl he dated after me was quite thin...with piercings, a spiderweb tattoo spun across her stomach into her navel, and was kicked off campus for illegal drug use. Mark's parents hated her. I bet they wish they had been just a little nicer to me ;-) Years later, after accepting a job in Florida, Mark had flown home to visit his parents and had hunted me down. He said I was the one who got away. He wanted me to leave my current boyfriend and move to Florida with him and get married. I'm glad I had the strength to say no as I think everyone can relate to the power of "first love." I didn't want to be with a cheater and I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't stand up for me. I deserved to marry into a family that was going to be kind and not judge me based on my dress size. That's exactly what God delivered :-)
I eventually came to realize there was a pre-existing turbulent relationship between my boyfriend and his parents, which had nothing at all to do with me. I have gotten a lot smarter since those days and now when a rumor comes to me that the man I'm dating dumped his girlfriend the same day he asked me out, I run the other way! I've also matured enough to want to believe that Mark's parents were just fearful of an unplanned pregnancy or a premature marriage. They had their accelerated-placement student on track for a good college. It probably didn't help that I elected to wear a white gown to his senior prom while simultaneously holding a bouquet of flowers in my hand; a decision made purely out of fashion but to this day makes me laugh at how it might have made them squirm. The irony is that Mark got into no better a school than I did. I'm sure his parents blamed me for that as well, but perhaps had he not been encouraged to spread his sperm all over town he may have had more focus.
As much as I want to give his parents the benefit of the doubt, I think they were just mean spirited. Especially, when it came to having relations with me it was such a risk, but they were okay with him doing an exchange student right underneath their roof. What kind of people treat a sixteen year old girl this way and make judgements about her weight?! Nothing, not even a, too hot and too heavy, relationship gave them the right to treat me as they did. I never forgot how they made me feel and I think it caused me to get into other bad relationships.
I totally understand how Ruby feels and can certainly say that being overweight has affected every relationship from my first on. While I am no longer the weak-willed girl of my youth who needed acceptance from my boyfriend's parents, what I've come to realize is that like so many other things in life, the being overweight thing...just not worth it!
"Treat others in a way that either protects or enhances their self-esteem." -Dr. Phil McGraw
I eventually found out that Mark had cheated on me many times. I was the slut ruining his future according to mom and dad, but he was the one had been with several girls, including the cashier he alleged to only be friends with. It was for the best that this relationship ended. The girl he dated after me was quite thin...with piercings, a spiderweb tattoo spun across her stomach into her navel, and was kicked off campus for illegal drug use. Mark's parents hated her. I bet they wish they had been just a little nicer to me ;-) Years later, after accepting a job in Florida, Mark had flown home to visit his parents and had hunted me down. He said I was the one who got away. He wanted me to leave my current boyfriend and move to Florida with him and get married. I'm glad I had the strength to say no as I think everyone can relate to the power of "first love." I didn't want to be with a cheater and I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't stand up for me. I deserved to marry into a family that was going to be kind and not judge me based on my dress size. That's exactly what God delivered :-)
I eventually came to realize there was a pre-existing turbulent relationship between my boyfriend and his parents, which had nothing at all to do with me. I have gotten a lot smarter since those days and now when a rumor comes to me that the man I'm dating dumped his girlfriend the same day he asked me out, I run the other way! I've also matured enough to want to believe that Mark's parents were just fearful of an unplanned pregnancy or a premature marriage. They had their accelerated-placement student on track for a good college. It probably didn't help that I elected to wear a white gown to his senior prom while simultaneously holding a bouquet of flowers in my hand; a decision made purely out of fashion but to this day makes me laugh at how it might have made them squirm. The irony is that Mark got into no better a school than I did. I'm sure his parents blamed me for that as well, but perhaps had he not been encouraged to spread his sperm all over town he may have had more focus.
As much as I want to give his parents the benefit of the doubt, I think they were just mean spirited. Especially, when it came to having relations with me it was such a risk, but they were okay with him doing an exchange student right underneath their roof. What kind of people treat a sixteen year old girl this way and make judgements about her weight?! Nothing, not even a, too hot and too heavy, relationship gave them the right to treat me as they did. I never forgot how they made me feel and I think it caused me to get into other bad relationships.
I totally understand how Ruby feels and can certainly say that being overweight has affected every relationship from my first on. While I am no longer the weak-willed girl of my youth who needed acceptance from my boyfriend's parents, what I've come to realize is that like so many other things in life, the being overweight thing...just not worth it!
"Treat others in a way that either protects or enhances their self-esteem." -Dr. Phil McGraw
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
HOT AND HEAVY
The first relationship to come to mind was with my high school boyfriend. We'll call him "Mark." He was a Junior, I was a Sophomore, and we met on my first day of cashiering at a local department store. He had walked right up to me- chased me down in fact as I was exiting the store. He asked me out on a date. I found this peculiar because I had never seen him before, we had never spoken, we didn't have mutual friends, and we had not even worked together during my shift. I had heard about this happening to other girls- the whole "I saw you across a crowded room," but had never experienced it personally. My life seemed far too sarcastic for that.
It had started out with rides home from work, then rides from and to school, and then eventually dinner dates. At this point it had completely escaped me that the rumor floating around work was that he had dumped some other cashier for me, and hadn't bothered to tell either of us. Out of the clear blue this taller, slightly thinner, version of myself had approached me to say she was quitting cashiering, was cool with me seeing Mark, and wanted to end all the nonsense. Nonsense, I had been completely unaware was happening. When I asked Mark about it he painted the picture that she had a crush on him and was never more than a friend.
We became hot and heavy (pun intended) as I can think of no better way to describe my chubby love affair with this tall, dark, slender, and very smart guy. I was sixteen and it was my first real relationship. We went to school together, worked together, and spent every spare moment together that we could. We made-out constantly. In the car, at the park, after work, after school...LOL...ahhh...the good ole' days. His friends seemed to approve, not that this was a tough crowd to win over, and though my family was less than enthused, I think they were just happy that I had picked a relatively trouble-free, geeky, math student.
The first time I met Mark's parents I received less than a warm reception. His father showed his disapproval immediately, and his mother would barely lift her head out of her book to acknowledge me. I wasn't quite sure if I was reading this correctly, as I had very little experience meeting boyfriends' parents, but everyone had always liked me- school teachers, clergy, family, neighbors, friend's parents. I was at a loss as to how you could dislike someone you just met? Mark didn't seem at all concerned, in fact, maybe even a little used to it, so I shrugged it off thinking to myself, "I'll win them over." But I never did. Their disdain for me grew at an alarming rate. I was never invited for dinner. I never felt welcomed. And despite all the nice things I did for their son, they never bothered to throw out the welcome mat.
I had nearly lost hope when Mark told me they had invited me on a day trip. I was hesitant, but Mark insisted it was his father's idea. Finally this was my chance. They had agreed to spend some time getting to know me. I shopped for the perfect outfit. I planned in advance my conversation, and had even pre-prepared a heartfelt thank-you to let them know how grateful I was to be included in their plans. I had woken up extra early to make sure my hair was perfect and my make-up was just right. The phone rang and my heart sank. His dad had cancelled the trip. I begged Mark for an explanation. Are you ready...?? His dad had hemorrhoids. This stuff is too real for even me to make up!
We never got another chance to go on that day trip. I assume because his father simply did not want to. As a result the tension continued to mount. It reached an all-time high when his parents, who could not convince him to see other people, had invited a foreign exchange student into their house. They had forced him to cancel plans with me and show her around instead. It was just like that scene from the movie Sixteen Candles where Molly Ringwald gets stuck taking Long Duck Dong to her high school dance, except for one thing. He slept with her.
TO BE CONTINUED...
It had started out with rides home from work, then rides from and to school, and then eventually dinner dates. At this point it had completely escaped me that the rumor floating around work was that he had dumped some other cashier for me, and hadn't bothered to tell either of us. Out of the clear blue this taller, slightly thinner, version of myself had approached me to say she was quitting cashiering, was cool with me seeing Mark, and wanted to end all the nonsense. Nonsense, I had been completely unaware was happening. When I asked Mark about it he painted the picture that she had a crush on him and was never more than a friend.
We became hot and heavy (pun intended) as I can think of no better way to describe my chubby love affair with this tall, dark, slender, and very smart guy. I was sixteen and it was my first real relationship. We went to school together, worked together, and spent every spare moment together that we could. We made-out constantly. In the car, at the park, after work, after school...LOL...ahhh...the good ole' days. His friends seemed to approve, not that this was a tough crowd to win over, and though my family was less than enthused, I think they were just happy that I had picked a relatively trouble-free, geeky, math student.
The first time I met Mark's parents I received less than a warm reception. His father showed his disapproval immediately, and his mother would barely lift her head out of her book to acknowledge me. I wasn't quite sure if I was reading this correctly, as I had very little experience meeting boyfriends' parents, but everyone had always liked me- school teachers, clergy, family, neighbors, friend's parents. I was at a loss as to how you could dislike someone you just met? Mark didn't seem at all concerned, in fact, maybe even a little used to it, so I shrugged it off thinking to myself, "I'll win them over." But I never did. Their disdain for me grew at an alarming rate. I was never invited for dinner. I never felt welcomed. And despite all the nice things I did for their son, they never bothered to throw out the welcome mat.
I had nearly lost hope when Mark told me they had invited me on a day trip. I was hesitant, but Mark insisted it was his father's idea. Finally this was my chance. They had agreed to spend some time getting to know me. I shopped for the perfect outfit. I planned in advance my conversation, and had even pre-prepared a heartfelt thank-you to let them know how grateful I was to be included in their plans. I had woken up extra early to make sure my hair was perfect and my make-up was just right. The phone rang and my heart sank. His dad had cancelled the trip. I begged Mark for an explanation. Are you ready...?? His dad had hemorrhoids. This stuff is too real for even me to make up!
We never got another chance to go on that day trip. I assume because his father simply did not want to. As a result the tension continued to mount. It reached an all-time high when his parents, who could not convince him to see other people, had invited a foreign exchange student into their house. They had forced him to cancel plans with me and show her around instead. It was just like that scene from the movie Sixteen Candles where Molly Ringwald gets stuck taking Long Duck Dong to her high school dance, except for one thing. He slept with her.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
STUCK ON STUPID
I was watching Ruby last night on the Style network- anybody familiar with this show?? I've just started watching it. There are so many “fat people shows” nowadays- who can keep up? In fact, I plan on highlighting my favs in an upcoming entry, but for now let me give you the skinny (pun intended) on Ruby.
Ruby is a seven hundred-plus pound woman with a reality TV show showcasing her struggle to lose weight. She has elected diet and exercise over surgery after receiving news that her life was in serious danger. She is a southern belle who is socially well connected and prides herself on leading a very full life despite her size.
In this week's episode, Ruby droans on about a failed relationship with a guy named Denny. Despite breaking up nearly ten years ago, they remain friends even though she's never gotten over the the relationship ending as a result of her weight problem. She rehashes the details of their demise, over and over again, and appears to be as angry as the day it happened. According to her, during their eight and a half year relationship he pleaded for her not to be a ten, but to lose enough weight so they could do things together. He offered to help her with that, but eventually out of frustration, he started to see other people. Ruby labeled him a cheater, even though she admits the relationship ended prior to him dating other people.
As much as I can relate to the double standards and unfair hurt bestowed upon an overweight woman in a relationship, I found myself yelling at the TV, “get over it!” Who the h*ll still talks about a relationship that ended ten years ago?! Furthermore, if this break-up was sooo devastating that you still talk about it, and the guy is single, has remained your friend, and still holds to the fact that your weight was the obstacle preventing you from getting married, then holy sh*t, “lose the weight already!” I'm not saying that anybody can or should lose weight for anyone other than themselves, but I'm saying, if he means enough for you to still be talking about this than just lose the damn weight already! (I laugh as the words come tumbling out my mouth.)
Apparently, she has not been in a relationship since and has bellyached about how bad a guy he is- forcing him to admit on camera that he hurt her, cheated on her, etc. Why would you waste ten years of your life on that?!! Talk about stuck on stupid! Why not find a new guy! Or do what you have to in order to win him back. Whatever! But don't waste TEN years of your life obsessing about a relationship that didn't work out all the while not fixing the problem nor allowing yourself to come into a new relationship!
As I shouted at the television set I could feel my own words reverberating back at me! Why would a normal human being make their life so much more difficult; forgoing relationships, marriage, kids, certain social activities, job opportunities, etc. just for food! Hmmm..........good question! I guess that's what addiction does. Once again, it got me to thinking about all the moments I had missed out on in life in the name of being fat! I started reminiscing about romantic relationships, including the one I'm in right now. Like Ruby, how much of a role has my weight played in my relationships?? I began to examine my previous loves and look forward to sharing my discoveries with you tomorrow.
"How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'. -Martin Luther
Monday, April 18, 2011
FROM SWEETS TO MEATS
When my husband came home from work on Friday I sat him down for a talk. I explained my position regarding the paleo diet in an attempt to prepare him for yet another lifestyle change. LOL. I expressed my desire to give it a try hoping he wouldn't be totally against it. I'm not looking to make my problem, his problem, but I need a certain level of cooperation if I'm going to succeed.
To my surprise he was totally on board with it. I think he just wants to see me well; whatever that takes! I also think he recognizes that he is in need of help himself. He's got no where near the mountain to climb that I do, but he's definitely not in the shape of his dreams. I think there just comes a point where you say to yourself, "enough is enough," and I'd say we're both there.
We went grocery shopping for meat and produce and spent the weekend eating up the carbs. While I'd love to just toss all the bread and pasta into the trash can, I can not justify the waste, especially with what groceries cost these days. I am probably shaped a bit like a giant rigatoni today, but I am happy to report that there is not one piece of bread left in the entire house. That is a first. I also seem to have quite a bit of open shelf space as a result of not loading up on cereal, rice, pasta, and packaged foods this week at the store.
I am going to try and do this paleo thing to the best of my ability in the next few weeks. I am not pledging 100% compliance, but as close as I can get. I am counting on a dramatic shift as I really feel the dependence on carbs is what is standing in my way of radical and permanent weight loss. You can count on me to be a bit ornery this week as anytime I make a concession with food I look and feel like I am coming off Meth as my husband likes to say. I'll keep you posted on my progress! :-)
"Every accomplishment begins with the decision to try." -Unknown
Friday, April 15, 2011
THE POISON APPLE
Having nearly finished The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf, I definitely have a stronger opinion regarding the caveman diet. The information is almost identical to that which is presented in The Primal Blueprint so I'll spare you a rehash of the details, but it definitely hit home this time around. I'm not sure if this is because I'm hearing the information for the second time or if Wolf's witty repartee has sold me on the concept, but I am convinced this is my solution.
I had a serious awakening around chapter four. I realized that even with all my commitment and tenacity, I am still not taking this situation as seriously as I need to be. I have been fooling myself; believing that this coma of poor heath is fixable through diet, exercise, and medication when really the situation is far more devastating than that. The quick fix diets and extreme exercise of my youth is not going to repair my health. Wolf has done a great job of spelling out what insulin resistance really means and just how toxic it is to my organs, systems, and future health.
Within every diagnosis is an ignorance, mostly on the part of the patient, but sometimes even the doctors. I fear most people have not invested the proper effort into understanding what a health condition may mean for them. I, on the other hand, have been trying to get a better understanding since I first heard the words Insulin Resistant. I can tell you that my efforts will need to become a lot more serious or I will live a life of poor health. This discovery explains why I have days where I look and feel so darn bad, because I am not just fat, I AM SICK!
Never before have I had to consider losing weight for any reason other than wanting to look good. This isn't about a guy or fitting a favorite pair of jeans. My need to lose weight has become a matter of life or death. I'm not suggesting that I have some incurable disease; quite the contrary, but research suggests that those who stay on this path without making life changes end up drowning in a sea of health problems that lead to untimely death.
When faced with this realization, why do so many people still chose the poison apple?? Why do I reach for pizza, pasta, or apple pie when I know it is killing me?? Why do I continue to dig my own grave??
Adopting a Paleo eating plan may not fix all my problems, but I'm willing to give it a try. I feel this plan of attack most closely matches the set of wayward criteria that I am trying to correct. While difficult, I'm hoping the avoidance of grains, carbs, and other sugars will help me reverse the damage.
FROM SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS:
I had a serious awakening around chapter four. I realized that even with all my commitment and tenacity, I am still not taking this situation as seriously as I need to be. I have been fooling myself; believing that this coma of poor heath is fixable through diet, exercise, and medication when really the situation is far more devastating than that. The quick fix diets and extreme exercise of my youth is not going to repair my health. Wolf has done a great job of spelling out what insulin resistance really means and just how toxic it is to my organs, systems, and future health.
Within every diagnosis is an ignorance, mostly on the part of the patient, but sometimes even the doctors. I fear most people have not invested the proper effort into understanding what a health condition may mean for them. I, on the other hand, have been trying to get a better understanding since I first heard the words Insulin Resistant. I can tell you that my efforts will need to become a lot more serious or I will live a life of poor health. This discovery explains why I have days where I look and feel so darn bad, because I am not just fat, I AM SICK!
Never before have I had to consider losing weight for any reason other than wanting to look good. This isn't about a guy or fitting a favorite pair of jeans. My need to lose weight has become a matter of life or death. I'm not suggesting that I have some incurable disease; quite the contrary, but research suggests that those who stay on this path without making life changes end up drowning in a sea of health problems that lead to untimely death.
When faced with this realization, why do so many people still chose the poison apple?? Why do I reach for pizza, pasta, or apple pie when I know it is killing me?? Why do I continue to dig my own grave??
Adopting a Paleo eating plan may not fix all my problems, but I'm willing to give it a try. I feel this plan of attack most closely matches the set of wayward criteria that I am trying to correct. While difficult, I'm hoping the avoidance of grains, carbs, and other sugars will help me reverse the damage.
FROM SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS:
Queen: Dip the apple in the brew. Let the Sleeping Death seep through.
[the poison on the apple forms a skull]
Queen: Look! On the skin! The symbol of what lies within. Now, turn red, to tempt Snow White, to make her hunger for a bite.
Queen: [offering the apple to the raven] Have a bite?
[the raven flaps wildly, trying to escape]
Queen: [laughing] It's not for you, it's for Snow White. When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal, then I'll be fairest in the land!
Queen: [Sniffing] Mm-hmm. Baking pies?
Snow White: Yes, gooseberry pie.
Queen: It's apple pies that make the menfolks' mouths water. Pies made from apples like these.
Snow White: Oh, they do look delicious.
Queen: Yes, but wait 'til you taste one, dearie. Like to try one? Go on. Go on, have a bite.
[the poison on the apple forms a skull]
Queen: Look! On the skin! The symbol of what lies within. Now, turn red, to tempt Snow White, to make her hunger for a bite.
Queen: [offering the apple to the raven] Have a bite?
[the raven flaps wildly, trying to escape]
Queen: [laughing] It's not for you, it's for Snow White. When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal, then I'll be fairest in the land!
Queen: [Sniffing] Mm-hmm. Baking pies?
Snow White: Yes, gooseberry pie.
Queen: It's apple pies that make the menfolks' mouths water. Pies made from apples like these.
Snow White: Oh, they do look delicious.
Queen: Yes, but wait 'til you taste one, dearie. Like to try one? Go on. Go on, have a bite.
Queen: And since you've been so good to poor old Granny, I'll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary apple. It's a magic wishing apple.
Snow White: A wishing apple?
Queen: Yes. One bite, and all your dreams will come true.
Snow White: Really?
Queen: Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish, and take a bite.
Queen: Yes. One bite, and all your dreams will come true.
Snow White: Really?
Queen: Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish, and take a bite.
Snow White: Oh, I feel strange.
[Starts gasping for air]
Queen: [to herself] Her breath will still. Her blood congeal.
[Snow White drops onto the floor]
Queen: [Cackling] Now I'll be fairest in the land!
[Starts gasping for air]
Queen: [to herself] Her breath will still. Her blood congeal.
[Snow White drops onto the floor]
Queen: [Cackling] Now I'll be fairest in the land!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
THE SICKLIC CYCLIC
HERE WE GO AGAIN! My mother brought me a little present when she was here for Dancing with the Stars last Monday, and by present, I don't mean a sticky bun. The present was a head cold! ARGH!!! Sorry, but I have reached my quota for illness this year thank-you very much. I think the reason I am so annoyed (aside from the fact that I was just sick in February) is because when I spoke to her on the phone she sounded like she might be under the weather. When I confronted her about her scratchy voice and mysterious cough, she stuck steadfastly to her story of being hoarse from a lot of talking. Does she have some speaking engagement tour I'm not aware of?!
Three days after her visit I was sick with the exact same symptoms! (Insert second "ARGH!" here) Let me give you the back story on why I'm so annoyed with dear old mom. Her and my dad have a "lifestyle" of colds and flus. They have more cold and flu then the medicine isle at Target! My dad is a school bus driver so he is forever picking up germs from the kids he transports. I have encouraged both my parents to take precautions- vitamins, Airborne, the flu shot, but they continue to scoff at me. I don't think they want to face the reality that at their age the flu can kill!
Additionally, my husband was told a new sick policy is being enforced at work whereby you get penalized for the sick days you take. GREAT AMERICAN POLICY!! GOTTA LOVE IT!!! Now, not only are we the hardest working nation with the fewest amount of vacation days, and vacations where we skip travel completely to either continue working or stay at home, but now under overworked conditions we are somehow suppose to control getting sick. See you get sick time in this country, but like vacation time, it's frowned upon if you use it. So you get it, but you can't use it. Let me repeat. You get it, but shouldn't use it. You get it, but don't really get it, you see, so you get it but only if you don't use it. (I sense a rant coming on.) I digress.
Since my husband had "used" some sick time he was kinda put on alert that he best not use anymore. So I expressly asked my parents not to come over if they are sick because we can't chance any more casualties this year.
Needless to say, I am in for a hell week. I have been sick since Thursday. I refuse to have my entire life turned upside down this time, so I have carried on. I felt better yesterday and swear by the effectiveness of Airborne to control or shorten illness. Why you should feel sorry for me is not because I am sick, but more so, because my husband drug himself to work sick. (Hope he makes the entire office sick and perhaps they'll consider amending that policy) It is me who will suffer the consequence of my parents' transgressions. It is me who will suffer the needless whining, complaining, and over dramatization of these circumstances. It is me who will suffer silently, as he throat clears, cough drop chews, and makes requests for Popsicles. It is me who will be exposed to the relentless sighing, pacing, and guilt-inducing behavior. I wish I could bottle that up and express deliver it to the 'rents!
I don't know what is up with us lately that we are so susceptible to viruses, but I'm sure the weather hasn't helped any. Hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold. It's not like us to be so feeble, but this is the week I'm having. Here's to hoping it all ends soon!
Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use by them. -Aldous Huxley
Three days after her visit I was sick with the exact same symptoms! (Insert second "ARGH!" here) Let me give you the back story on why I'm so annoyed with dear old mom. Her and my dad have a "lifestyle" of colds and flus. They have more cold and flu then the medicine isle at Target! My dad is a school bus driver so he is forever picking up germs from the kids he transports. I have encouraged both my parents to take precautions- vitamins, Airborne, the flu shot, but they continue to scoff at me. I don't think they want to face the reality that at their age the flu can kill!
Additionally, my husband was told a new sick policy is being enforced at work whereby you get penalized for the sick days you take. GREAT AMERICAN POLICY!! GOTTA LOVE IT!!! Now, not only are we the hardest working nation with the fewest amount of vacation days, and vacations where we skip travel completely to either continue working or stay at home, but now under overworked conditions we are somehow suppose to control getting sick. See you get sick time in this country, but like vacation time, it's frowned upon if you use it. So you get it, but you can't use it. Let me repeat. You get it, but shouldn't use it. You get it, but don't really get it, you see, so you get it but only if you don't use it. (I sense a rant coming on.) I digress.
Since my husband had "used" some sick time he was kinda put on alert that he best not use anymore. So I expressly asked my parents not to come over if they are sick because we can't chance any more casualties this year.
Needless to say, I am in for a hell week. I have been sick since Thursday. I refuse to have my entire life turned upside down this time, so I have carried on. I felt better yesterday and swear by the effectiveness of Airborne to control or shorten illness. Why you should feel sorry for me is not because I am sick, but more so, because my husband drug himself to work sick. (Hope he makes the entire office sick and perhaps they'll consider amending that policy) It is me who will suffer the consequence of my parents' transgressions. It is me who will suffer the needless whining, complaining, and over dramatization of these circumstances. It is me who will suffer silently, as he throat clears, cough drop chews, and makes requests for Popsicles. It is me who will be exposed to the relentless sighing, pacing, and guilt-inducing behavior. I wish I could bottle that up and express deliver it to the 'rents!
I don't know what is up with us lately that we are so susceptible to viruses, but I'm sure the weather hasn't helped any. Hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold. It's not like us to be so feeble, but this is the week I'm having. Here's to hoping it all ends soon!
Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use by them. -Aldous Huxley
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Jennifer, you remember correctly-- cucumber, tomato, lettuce, onion, cheese, vinegar, oil sandwiches from the Wawa? I really enjoyed the vegetarian diet. There was something cleansing about it, and it had enough variety, color, texture and versatility to keep it interesting. I would make a tomato and vegetable stock based soup, a southwest lasagna with spinach, mushrooms, peppers, carrots and corn with an alfredo base, even "meat" balls-- made with broccoli, tofu, pine nuts, parmesean and egg, rolled and eaten with tomato sauce on top. Now, with that being said, it drove my family insane! On occasion, I would cook meat for them and there would be the smarty comment "OH meat!" My philosophy on it was, if you don't like it, don't eat it. The thing with it that I had to be careful of was keeping my protein intake adequate. I learned a lot about eggs, beans, peanut butter, tofu, and soy milk and beans. If your iron intake gets too low you get tired and lethargic, and this was a real problem with me at first. Actually, that being said, I may pull out some of my old recipes. I really didn't miss the meat. When I got pregnant with my first son, Elijah, that flipped everything around--he required red meat, and a lot of it-- steak, hamburger, roast---3 or 4 times a day. With Ean's pregnancy I was basically vegetarian. He required eggs, brownies and cinnamon toast crunch. I think it's interesting though, because what I craved is what they like now. Elijah is a carnivore all the way. If he didn't have to look at a glass of milk or a sprig of anything green, ever, he'd be happy. Ean is my little veggie. Sometimes in the morning, he gets his spoon, goes to the pantry and begs for "peas please???" He wants to eat them out of the can. The major pitfall to look for with insulin resistance is the potential to use carbs as your filler. I am interested to hear about the Vegan book. I am actually baking a Vegan cake this evening for a 2 year old's birthday party. The diet is centered around no animal products--meat, dairy or by product. I discovered in my search for an apropriate recipe that some granulated sugar actually is whitened somehow by pulverized animal bone. **I haven't looked up the details on this yet, so I don't have the hows or whys, but yikes** I would up selecting a pure turbinado cane sugar. I was just struck with how very little we know about the processed foods we consume. Keep me posted, Jennifer
THE SPICE OF LIFE
I have given a lot of thought lately to what is the best eating plan. The funny thing is, the two options I am leaning closest too couldn't be more opposite; the Paleo/Blueprint diet versus Vegetarianism. I have spent a good deal of time exploring the caveman diets, but have not yet invested equal time into the vegetarian lifestyle. There is compelling research to support both, and some significant drawbacks to adopting either lifestyle. Both call for a dependence on whole, natural, foods but I think when your back is up against the wall with regard to choices, you may lean more toward eating meats if you are a Paleo, and eat more carbohydrates if you are a vegetarian.
Having spent some time exploring the first option, I can say we have definitely suffered a downfall as a result of modern agriculture and our dependence on grains. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that this switch in dietary habits has led to a number of obesity related conditions. The biggest concern I have about adopting the caveman lifestyle is the dependence on "modern day" meat. Sure thousands of years ago man ate a protein rich diet and thrived as a result of it, but he was out there hunting and killing with his spear, not chomping down packages of meat from factory farms that are higher in saturated fats and loaded with contaminants.
While I have a great respect for my vegetarian friends, I must say that while they preach the abundance of food choices in the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle, my observation is that many of them have replaced their meat with carbohydrates. This would be a disastrous change for someone who already has an insulin problem. While I have long admired their dedication and have for years wrestled with my own convictions about eating meat, I can not deny that the thought of never having a hamburger, steak, or piece of chicken again is pretty grueling.
I guess I am the type of person who likes to have variety in life, as well as my diet. Anytime a lifestyle or eating strategy becomes too restrictive, I become depressed! I don't support the notion that there is only one correct style of eating and anything outside of that will have disastrous effects. I also don't believe in fad diets as I have learned one too many times that today's trend will soon be next year's no-no. This is why I stick steadfastly to borrowing the best techniques and methods from every plan and blending them into my own personal eating strategy. There are so many types of fruit, vegetables, spices, and styles of cuisine out there, many of which have vitamin and anti-oxidant properties that are unique to that particular food, that why would anyone want to chose from such a restrictive palette in the name of good health?!?
Variety is the spice of life and you should consider the psychological and emotional affects certain restrictions can have on you. It may be too psychologically taxing for you to consume an animal for dinner, and for others it may be too psychologically taxing not to! While I can definitely afford to cut out some sticky buns and lasagna, the thought of NEVER having a sticky bun or lasagna again is not worth the anguish!
For right now my I am content with eating vegetarian meals once or twice a week. My deep love of wildlife combined with the impracticality of going on hunting trips every night, has left me okay with buying packaged meat when it is grass-fed beef or free-range chicken from a farmer I trust to be humane.
I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter, especially if you are a practicing vegetarian or Paleo eater. Tera, I thought I recalled you being a vegetarian when we first met?? Any thoughts about the lifestyle? I will be reporting on the Paleo diet as soon as I finish reading the book. I hope to then move on to Veganist, Eating Animals, and Farm Sanctuary. Should any of you beat me to it, please share.
"I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life." - Drew Barrymore
Having spent some time exploring the first option, I can say we have definitely suffered a downfall as a result of modern agriculture and our dependence on grains. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that this switch in dietary habits has led to a number of obesity related conditions. The biggest concern I have about adopting the caveman lifestyle is the dependence on "modern day" meat. Sure thousands of years ago man ate a protein rich diet and thrived as a result of it, but he was out there hunting and killing with his spear, not chomping down packages of meat from factory farms that are higher in saturated fats and loaded with contaminants.
While I have a great respect for my vegetarian friends, I must say that while they preach the abundance of food choices in the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle, my observation is that many of them have replaced their meat with carbohydrates. This would be a disastrous change for someone who already has an insulin problem. While I have long admired their dedication and have for years wrestled with my own convictions about eating meat, I can not deny that the thought of never having a hamburger, steak, or piece of chicken again is pretty grueling.
I guess I am the type of person who likes to have variety in life, as well as my diet. Anytime a lifestyle or eating strategy becomes too restrictive, I become depressed! I don't support the notion that there is only one correct style of eating and anything outside of that will have disastrous effects. I also don't believe in fad diets as I have learned one too many times that today's trend will soon be next year's no-no. This is why I stick steadfastly to borrowing the best techniques and methods from every plan and blending them into my own personal eating strategy. There are so many types of fruit, vegetables, spices, and styles of cuisine out there, many of which have vitamin and anti-oxidant properties that are unique to that particular food, that why would anyone want to chose from such a restrictive palette in the name of good health?!?
Variety is the spice of life and you should consider the psychological and emotional affects certain restrictions can have on you. It may be too psychologically taxing for you to consume an animal for dinner, and for others it may be too psychologically taxing not to! While I can definitely afford to cut out some sticky buns and lasagna, the thought of NEVER having a sticky bun or lasagna again is not worth the anguish!
For right now my I am content with eating vegetarian meals once or twice a week. My deep love of wildlife combined with the impracticality of going on hunting trips every night, has left me okay with buying packaged meat when it is grass-fed beef or free-range chicken from a farmer I trust to be humane.
I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter, especially if you are a practicing vegetarian or Paleo eater. Tera, I thought I recalled you being a vegetarian when we first met?? Any thoughts about the lifestyle? I will be reporting on the Paleo diet as soon as I finish reading the book. I hope to then move on to Veganist, Eating Animals, and Farm Sanctuary. Should any of you beat me to it, please share.
"I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life." - Drew Barrymore
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Cake as Therapy
OMG, I can't believe your brother brought that ginormous sticky bun. That's why they call it sticky buns--they STICK to your BUNS. I am a sticky bun junkie myself, so I am super glad that I wasn't there- my will power wouldn't have made it.
I am so proud of you, Jennifer, for making your own lasagna corner. That couldn't have been easy to do.
As for me, I am still in the land of sick children, so not well rested, but surprisingly energetic. My morning and evening on the elliptical must be having a little effect on my get-up-and-go. I must admit that getting up early still isn't my favorite thing to do, and quite frankly, I don't know that it will ever be, but darn it, its worth the shot. I also had a busy weekend in the back yard pulling weeds.
We missed our opportunity to spread a pre-emergant weed and feed on our lawn and are now suffering the consequences. The weed and feed can still go down, of course, but I've already got a roving pathway of whatever weed grows sticker-burrs. If I just leave the plant down, when the weed and feed kills it, the green burrs will dry out and start sticking to the dog and the kids. GAH. So, I got busy pulling. 3 hours on Saturday afternoon, 2 hours on Sunday and I've got 85% of the offending weeds pulled up. There is still a patch in the corner that the husband ran over with the lawn mower a couple weeks ago, causing the roots to spread. He's just going to have to go over it with the mower and bagger a couple times to try and get the rest of it out. The weed pulling is a pretty good work out. I maintained an elevated heart rate and definitely broke a sweat.
Elijah and I also got his veggies in the ground. I am trying to get him excited about eating vegetables, and I think it may be working. We started green bean bushes and pea plants from seed, and now that they are big enough, we put them in the ground in the back yard. I asked him if he was going to eat some when they grew the beans. He said "YES I love green beans!" When I asked him about the peas, he eyed me slowly and offered, "Maybe just one." LOL! When the tomatoes are a little bigger we can put those in the ground too, and we can try to plant the pumpkin vines this evening.
For those of you who don't know, I bake cakes. It has served dual purpose. It is an outlet for my creative itch, and it makes me not want to eat cake at all.....EVER. It helps for me to have my hands busy, and it is a good excersise in concentration.
Here's a couple pictures of some cake's Ive done:
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
GARFIELD'S LASAGNA
So it didn't go too bad last night. Making the lasagna was kind of exhausting; it's just that kind of recipe. You have to cook the sauce for over an hour, boil the pasta, shred all the cheeses, assemble it, then bake. The good thing about a recipe that involved is that by the time you're done cooking it, you often aren't interested in eating it, but don't worry that didn't stop me. I did what I said I was gonna do and had a square with my veggies. Now I'm not sure that square turned out to be as small as promised, but all in all, I did alright. Because my family is such gluttons and it would not be out of the ordinary to see a fight break out over a shortage of pasta, I made two trays.
Let me tell ya, I call this entry Garfield's lasagna for good reason. It is super good and people gobble it down like everybody's favorite cartoon cat! Let me assist you with a visual, Press play, then move mouse side to side.
I don't know how good a look you're getting at these bad boys right now, but they were insanely good! I guess I am currently "embodying" a sticky bun. I must wish to be big and square and dripping with nuts because I had one! That was not part of the plan. I think I need to update my post-it to more of a legal pad size!
"With all respect to Will Rogers, I never met a lasagna I didn't like."
-Garfield
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| Tray 1 |
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| Tray 2 |
Things were going dandy until my brother revealed his secret bring along item. a hush falls over the blog...MR. STICKY STICKY BUNS!!! What the f*ck! And I do mean WTF! Now my whole family has a sweet tooth including my fit father, so much so, that there is a tradition of eating dessert first at our family get-togethers. Normally, I struggle with the bread/pasta thing more than the cake/ice cream thing, so I wasn't overly concerned with what my brother had in the box. But check this sh*t out..
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| Walnut Sticky Buns |
There's been talk about us getting together next Monday to watch the show but I already vetoed a request for Beef Stroganoff. This cooking extravaganza can not continue every Monday or it will look like Dancing with the Hippos.
Below is my mother dancing in the kitchen as I announce the lasagna is done. She even looks insane, does she not?! To her right, the juiceman, still going strong at 70. Did I mention that everyone arrived by way of automobile? The Juiceman, staying true to his image, arrived via bicycle.
"With all respect to Will Rogers, I never met a lasagna I didn't like."
-Garfield
Monday, April 4, 2011
DANCING WITH MY MOTHER
Today will prove to be an interesting test for my new affirmations. We shall see if I can keep Katie Fantastic afloat this evening. My mother and I have a tradition of watching Dancing with the Stars together. My brother has nicknamed the event, "Dancing with my Mother" as I am not nearly as interested in the show as she is, yet it would be a travesty if I did not watch it with her and demonstrate equal enthusiasm.
You are not aloud to talk during the performances, she repeats everything the judges say, and she shouts out scores like she is a judge and than cackles afterward when her score matches their score paddle. During the commercial break she updates you on the personal lives of the professional dancers. Despite having the show recorded via my DVR, she also becomes noticeably agitated if you try to shorten the experience by skipping through the commercials. Generally, by the end of the evening I have a Dancing with my Mother-sized headache and need to lay down. But the person I feel sorriest for is my husband. He loses control over his mancave for three, sometimes four, hours every Monday night for what he calls, "the gayest show on television!" LOL.
After two weeks of solid ribbing from my brother, I decided to rope him into this evening's shenanigans. Ha ha, won't be so funny when he's stuck on the sofa aside of the Dancing with the Stars correspondent! So tonight I will be entertaining my mother and brother for an evening of "fun." To make matters worse, they schemed to try and convince me to make lasagna for dinner. Knowing my situation, neither one of them wanted to ask, so instead they blamed one another for the request. When I eventually called their bluff and said, "well if you say you are not the one who wants it, it is mom, and mom you say it is not you who wants it, it is my brother, than I guess I can make something healthy for dinner since neither of you are really interested." It was like the bible story where Solomon demands the baby be cut in half to determine its rightful owner. Within seconds my brother proclaimed, "Oh please sister of mine, make that delicious lasagna!"
My plan is to have a small square with some steamed veggies and allow them to take home the leftovers. I already went for a jog this morning and tonight at dinner I will be repeating in my head, "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!" "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!" "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!"
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again." -George Miller
You are not aloud to talk during the performances, she repeats everything the judges say, and she shouts out scores like she is a judge and than cackles afterward when her score matches their score paddle. During the commercial break she updates you on the personal lives of the professional dancers. Despite having the show recorded via my DVR, she also becomes noticeably agitated if you try to shorten the experience by skipping through the commercials. Generally, by the end of the evening I have a Dancing with my Mother-sized headache and need to lay down. But the person I feel sorriest for is my husband. He loses control over his mancave for three, sometimes four, hours every Monday night for what he calls, "the gayest show on television!" LOL.
After two weeks of solid ribbing from my brother, I decided to rope him into this evening's shenanigans. Ha ha, won't be so funny when he's stuck on the sofa aside of the Dancing with the Stars correspondent! So tonight I will be entertaining my mother and brother for an evening of "fun." To make matters worse, they schemed to try and convince me to make lasagna for dinner. Knowing my situation, neither one of them wanted to ask, so instead they blamed one another for the request. When I eventually called their bluff and said, "well if you say you are not the one who wants it, it is mom, and mom you say it is not you who wants it, it is my brother, than I guess I can make something healthy for dinner since neither of you are really interested." It was like the bible story where Solomon demands the baby be cut in half to determine its rightful owner. Within seconds my brother proclaimed, "Oh please sister of mine, make that delicious lasagna!"
My plan is to have a small square with some steamed veggies and allow them to take home the leftovers. I already went for a jog this morning and tonight at dinner I will be repeating in my head, "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!" "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!" "I must embody the woman I wish myself to be!"
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again." -George Miller
FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
Silly as they may be, my daily affirmations seem to be working. It's amazing that of all the complicated techniques I've used to keep myself from overeating, it is this simple little concept that has brought me some success. I have tried writing down everything I eat, preparing my meals in advance, using smaller plates, eating in front of a mirror, and yet, all I needed to do was speak a simple sentence or two. I feel like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz when Glenda tells her, "you don't need to be helped any longer, you've always had the power..."
Additionally, I seem to have solved another problem. My husband and I managed to consolidate some of our credit card debt in the most ironic fashion. After being denied a loan, deciding against consolidation, and recognizing that armed robbery would only add to our troubles, I found the most interesting option. While painstakingly opening up every single one of those pesky junk mail credit card offers so I could send a "remove from mailing list" request, I came across a 0% interest balance transfer for twenty-one months! I called and, sure enough, we were able to transfer a large part of our high interest credit card debt to this interest free card. Not only will this help us pay the balance off sooner, but it will save us hundreds of dollars in interest over the next year. I guess everything happens for a reason, even junk mail!
While a huge part of me does not want to send a message of encouragement to the banks who bombard us with these offers, nor do I want to get into bed with the same devil that is roasting my finances at the moment, it proved to be the best choice for our situation. I would love to spend another entry ranting about how working class families can't qualify for a loan to pay off their credit cards but somehow can qualify for another credit card, but I've decided to just be happy with the outcome for now. My perseverance and determination has paid off. It's my turn to stick it to the credit card companies the way they've been sticking it to me! Right now I may be a slave of the bankers, but I can't wait to free myself of this burden. ;-)
"The surest way to establish your credit is to work yourself into the position of not needing any." -Maurice Switzer
Additionally, I seem to have solved another problem. My husband and I managed to consolidate some of our credit card debt in the most ironic fashion. After being denied a loan, deciding against consolidation, and recognizing that armed robbery would only add to our troubles, I found the most interesting option. While painstakingly opening up every single one of those pesky junk mail credit card offers so I could send a "remove from mailing list" request, I came across a 0% interest balance transfer for twenty-one months! I called and, sure enough, we were able to transfer a large part of our high interest credit card debt to this interest free card. Not only will this help us pay the balance off sooner, but it will save us hundreds of dollars in interest over the next year. I guess everything happens for a reason, even junk mail!
While a huge part of me does not want to send a message of encouragement to the banks who bombard us with these offers, nor do I want to get into bed with the same devil that is roasting my finances at the moment, it proved to be the best choice for our situation. I would love to spend another entry ranting about how working class families can't qualify for a loan to pay off their credit cards but somehow can qualify for another credit card, but I've decided to just be happy with the outcome for now. My perseverance and determination has paid off. It's my turn to stick it to the credit card companies the way they've been sticking it to me! Right now I may be a slave of the bankers, but I can't wait to free myself of this burden. ;-)
"The surest way to establish your credit is to work yourself into the position of not needing any." -Maurice Switzer
Friday, April 1, 2011
My GOD is it Friday already! ? ! Jennifer, your last post really struck a chord with me and the profound meaning of Embody. Here's the first two that Merriam-Webster had to say: 1. To give a body to 2a. To deprive spiritually ****** b. to make concrete and perceptible I was talking to Jennifer about the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa Turkerst, and I haven't made time to read it yet. The review on it discusses the void that incomplete spirtuality has on your life and how we crave things to fill the void--- food, clothing, sex, cigarettes, alcohol.... I want to start reading and ponder more; I will share my findings. Hang in there Jennifer, I know the shoes you're standing in; I know the frustration that causes that slip backwards. Hang onto your post-it, I think this may be revalation worthy! She's too right with the things that you miss out on when you're overweight. I just think about how my kids will have very few pictures with their Mommy when they were babies because of my unwillingness to face the truth of the camera. Its makes me sad. They do deserve better!
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