He had taken the bait and I was devastated. I was convinced it was a hopeless situation. His parents had threatened to send him to military school if he didn't break it off with me, and their constant berating had finally caused him to look elsewhere. I hated them! They had gone from disapproving to being all out mean. I felt worthless. I couldn't understand what it was I had done for them to dislike me. I was a nice girl who did good in school and went to church every Sunday. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, and I had never been anything but nice to Mark and his family. They made me feel so ugly, like I just wasn't good enough for their son.
News of our break-up traveled around school. I had envisioned Mark's parents popping champagne. I had become so sad. I already felt self-conscious because I was overweight and now the one person who loved me had been taken away. Who was going to take that much interest in me again?? It's the perfect girls who get spotted from across the room, remember??
One day, weighed down from the sorrow of this couple, Kevin (Mark's best friend) had come to tell me a secret. Mark's dad did indeed hate me because I was fat! Mark had dated other chubby girls and his father never approved. I found this ironic considering his dad was a severely bloated version of Newt Gingrich with hemorrhoids! Mark's mother was tall and thin like Mark. The answer sat right there in the arms chairs of their living room. Mark's dad wanted for his son, what he had married. Forget the fact that they weren't happily married and Mark had always complained about how f*cked up his parents were. Mark's older brother had moved all the way to Australia to escape them. He was gay and apparently not accepted by them. You would think given the circumstances they would be happy for any girl Mark brought home, but no one seemed to meet their standards.
News of our break-up traveled around school. I had envisioned Mark's parents popping champagne. I had become so sad. I already felt self-conscious because I was overweight and now the one person who loved me had been taken away. Who was going to take that much interest in me again?? It's the perfect girls who get spotted from across the room, remember??
One day, weighed down from the sorrow of this couple, Kevin (Mark's best friend) had come to tell me a secret. Mark's dad did indeed hate me because I was fat! Mark had dated other chubby girls and his father never approved. I found this ironic considering his dad was a severely bloated version of Newt Gingrich with hemorrhoids! Mark's mother was tall and thin like Mark. The answer sat right there in the arms chairs of their living room. Mark's dad wanted for his son, what he had married. Forget the fact that they weren't happily married and Mark had always complained about how f*cked up his parents were. Mark's older brother had moved all the way to Australia to escape them. He was gay and apparently not accepted by them. You would think given the circumstances they would be happy for any girl Mark brought home, but no one seemed to meet their standards.
I ended up dating more boyfriends with bad parents and started to develop a complex about it. I never really got over it, nor did I ever regain my self-confidence when it came to meeting family. I was mortified when it was time to meet my husband's parents and I probably remained somewhat mean and mistrustful of them for far too long. That meeting had gone the best, but I was also thin and beautiful by then. Would the reception have been different had I been the chubby girl I once was??
I eventually found out that Mark had cheated on me many times. I was the slut ruining his future according to mom and dad, but he was the one had been with several girls, including the cashier he alleged to only be friends with. It was for the best that this relationship ended. The girl he dated after me was quite thin...with piercings, a spiderweb tattoo spun across her stomach into her navel, and was kicked off campus for illegal drug use. Mark's parents hated her. I bet they wish they had been just a little nicer to me ;-) Years later, after accepting a job in Florida, Mark had flown home to visit his parents and had hunted me down. He said I was the one who got away. He wanted me to leave my current boyfriend and move to Florida with him and get married. I'm glad I had the strength to say no as I think everyone can relate to the power of "first love." I didn't want to be with a cheater and I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't stand up for me. I deserved to marry into a family that was going to be kind and not judge me based on my dress size. That's exactly what God delivered :-)
I eventually came to realize there was a pre-existing turbulent relationship between my boyfriend and his parents, which had nothing at all to do with me. I have gotten a lot smarter since those days and now when a rumor comes to me that the man I'm dating dumped his girlfriend the same day he asked me out, I run the other way! I've also matured enough to want to believe that Mark's parents were just fearful of an unplanned pregnancy or a premature marriage. They had their accelerated-placement student on track for a good college. It probably didn't help that I elected to wear a white gown to his senior prom while simultaneously holding a bouquet of flowers in my hand; a decision made purely out of fashion but to this day makes me laugh at how it might have made them squirm. The irony is that Mark got into no better a school than I did. I'm sure his parents blamed me for that as well, but perhaps had he not been encouraged to spread his sperm all over town he may have had more focus.
As much as I want to give his parents the benefit of the doubt, I think they were just mean spirited. Especially, when it came to having relations with me it was such a risk, but they were okay with him doing an exchange student right underneath their roof. What kind of people treat a sixteen year old girl this way and make judgements about her weight?! Nothing, not even a, too hot and too heavy, relationship gave them the right to treat me as they did. I never forgot how they made me feel and I think it caused me to get into other bad relationships.
I totally understand how Ruby feels and can certainly say that being overweight has affected every relationship from my first on. While I am no longer the weak-willed girl of my youth who needed acceptance from my boyfriend's parents, what I've come to realize is that like so many other things in life, the being overweight thing...just not worth it!
"Treat others in a way that either protects or enhances their self-esteem." -Dr. Phil McGraw
I eventually found out that Mark had cheated on me many times. I was the slut ruining his future according to mom and dad, but he was the one had been with several girls, including the cashier he alleged to only be friends with. It was for the best that this relationship ended. The girl he dated after me was quite thin...with piercings, a spiderweb tattoo spun across her stomach into her navel, and was kicked off campus for illegal drug use. Mark's parents hated her. I bet they wish they had been just a little nicer to me ;-) Years later, after accepting a job in Florida, Mark had flown home to visit his parents and had hunted me down. He said I was the one who got away. He wanted me to leave my current boyfriend and move to Florida with him and get married. I'm glad I had the strength to say no as I think everyone can relate to the power of "first love." I didn't want to be with a cheater and I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't stand up for me. I deserved to marry into a family that was going to be kind and not judge me based on my dress size. That's exactly what God delivered :-)
I eventually came to realize there was a pre-existing turbulent relationship between my boyfriend and his parents, which had nothing at all to do with me. I have gotten a lot smarter since those days and now when a rumor comes to me that the man I'm dating dumped his girlfriend the same day he asked me out, I run the other way! I've also matured enough to want to believe that Mark's parents were just fearful of an unplanned pregnancy or a premature marriage. They had their accelerated-placement student on track for a good college. It probably didn't help that I elected to wear a white gown to his senior prom while simultaneously holding a bouquet of flowers in my hand; a decision made purely out of fashion but to this day makes me laugh at how it might have made them squirm. The irony is that Mark got into no better a school than I did. I'm sure his parents blamed me for that as well, but perhaps had he not been encouraged to spread his sperm all over town he may have had more focus.
As much as I want to give his parents the benefit of the doubt, I think they were just mean spirited. Especially, when it came to having relations with me it was such a risk, but they were okay with him doing an exchange student right underneath their roof. What kind of people treat a sixteen year old girl this way and make judgements about her weight?! Nothing, not even a, too hot and too heavy, relationship gave them the right to treat me as they did. I never forgot how they made me feel and I think it caused me to get into other bad relationships.
I totally understand how Ruby feels and can certainly say that being overweight has affected every relationship from my first on. While I am no longer the weak-willed girl of my youth who needed acceptance from my boyfriend's parents, what I've come to realize is that like so many other things in life, the being overweight thing...just not worth it!
"Treat others in a way that either protects or enhances their self-esteem." -Dr. Phil McGraw
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