TWENTY-FIVE TO LIFE!

It is Weigh-in Tuesday, though I am behind in reporting my progress.  I did, in fact, reach my twenty-five pound weight loss goal last Tuesday.  Finally!  (I'm waiting for the bells and sirens, cheers, and streamers to  fall from the sky)  I can't disguise my disappointment that I did not exceed the goal, especially with all my hard work and dedication last week, but I have learned to accept the wins I get, however small.  I have not weighed myself today to check for any further progress, but I suspect a standstill as I did not have as good a week and a post holiday weigh-in is never in anyone's favor.  

We did some grilling this weekend and some swimming.  I'm not sure the swimming compensated for the grilling, especially since I did not make it to the gym this weekend, but you have to have a little fun once in awhile, right?  I feel stronger and healthier every day that I continue on this mission.  I just wish the scale reflected how I feel, in pounds.  It gets pretty depressing to think that with my goal, which I never articulated before but is somewhere around 145 pounds, that I will need to do exactly what I have done up until this point about another five times.  If I break my weight down into twenty-five pound increments, I will need to repeat my efforts 4.8 times in order to reach my goal.  Sighhhhhh....that can be real depressing, if you let it be.  Especially, if you look at the amount of time it has taken me to reach the first twenty-five pound goal.  Generally, what follows is increasingly more difficult.

Yep folks, it's like a prison sentence.  It feels like twenty-five years just to lose twenty-five pounds!   I am going to consider my twenty-five pound weight loss the first milestone in what I hope will be a succession of twenty-five pound weight losses.  Here's to hoping the next twenty-five come easier and faster!

“I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days.”  ~Totie Fields

WEIGHT WATCHERS, WEIGH-IN'S, AND WENDY'S

All that talk about my mother's struggle with her weight got me to thinking about my experience growing up.  What was I taught from my grandmother and mother about diet and exercise, portion control, eating habits?  It might humor you to know some of the memories I have.  Probably the clearest thing I can recall is what I like to call, "Weight Watchers, Weigh-In's, and Wendy's!" 

My mother would take me to her weekly Weight Watchers meetings.  I was about eight years old at the time.  I can remember pulling into the church parking lot (W.W. meetings we're held at this church a few miles from our house) my mother taking her little canvas Weight Watchers bag out of the car which had all her books and meal plans in it, taking a deep sigh, and heading into the building.  Once inside, we would both grab a seat in this tiny little classroom that had one-armed desk chairs.  She would put her things down, compose herself, and then get in line to step on the scale.  Whether the news was good or bad, I can recall very distinctly what happened after every single weigh-in.  My mother and I would pack up our stuff, get in the car, and head to the Wendy's drive-thru.

Before getting there my mother would always lean over to me in the car and say, "don't tell your father we came here."  Him finding out was her biggest concern of the night.  She would pull up to the window, order two baked potatoes with extra cheese, one for each of us, two chicken cheese sandwiches with mayo, again, one for each of us, and she would ask for several sides of whipped butter for the baked potatoes.  She would then pull over to a dimly lit parking space, shut the car engine off, and begin to dig into the frenzy of fast food that was her release for the night.

I can remember how much anxiety my mother seemed to be carrying around. It was almost as if in that one moment, shoving a fork of cheese and butter soaked baked potato in her mouth solved all her problems.  I too can remember how good that food tasted at the time.  It was the one reward that was always waiting for me if she could make it through the day.  How quickly I became attached to it.  At a time where ballet lessons, gymnastic lessons, after school activities, or any distraction that required some money and a ride was out of the question, I was given one thing to look forward too, food!  It's amazing how we carry these early behaviors into our adult world.  At a time when I can barely afford to do any activity outside of paying my bills, I find it interesting that my reward remains the same.  Cooking and eating, those are the activities.  I don't go to the Wendy's drive thru anymore for my peace of mind, but I certainly find it at the bottom of a macaroni and cheese casserole.

My mother and I went on dozens of trips to weight-loss meetings with binges following afterwards.  Always the same words of caution, "whatever you do, don't tell your father we were here!"  Sometimes it was Weight Watchers and Wendy's, other times Nutri-System and fried chicken, and sometimes Jenny Craig and Dunkin' Doughnuts.  The weight-loss centers and eat-on-the-go meals changed, but the behavior and consistency stayed the same.  At one point my grandmother joined in and it became a family affair; the three of us going to diet centers followed by meals in the car.  My mother and my grandmother never did seem to lose any weight.  As I got older I was no longer just be dragged along for the ride.  Those fast food meals ensured that I too was now attending these meetings to step on the scale.  A ten year old, already in need of a diet.

What did all this teach me?  Well, unfortunately, it taught me some really bad habits and perceptions.  It taught me that food is a reward, first and foremost. It taught me that when you fail at something, food can ease your anxiety about the failure.  It taught me that eating and having a weight problem is shameful. Heck, even if my mother had the guts to walk me INTO the fast food establishment and sit at a public table, it would have been a better message than being forced to eat in a parked car void of any street lights.  It taught me to hide, cover up, and even lie about my struggles.  Remember the most important thing to my mother was that my father not find out.  I learned horrible eating habits from it.  Starve yourself all day before the weigh-in, then binge on a heavy meal afterwards late at night.  It certainly sent a lot of mixed messages; counting calories and weighing teaspoons of peanut butter versus requesting extra cheese and sides of whipped butter.  It did one very harmful thing to all of us, it kept the legacy alive of obese women in our family.  I have much more to say on the matter, but I believe I'll pause for today.

“Obesity is a mental state, a disease brought on by boredom and disappointment”.  ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

I've had some tough days this week.  I've really been pushing myself to workout more and eat less and it has been anything but easy.  I am very frustrated about everything.  The number of sacrifices I have had to make just to reach a twenty-five pound goal is ridiculous!  I am really towing the line and while you can tell I am losing weight, it is frustrating just how slow the whole process is.  The amount of effort compared to the amount of results seems disproportionate.  I can really feel the difficulty increasing as I age.  Perhaps having a medical problem has magnified the whole situation to be an even bigger challenge, but I can tell you that ten years ago, heck, five years ago, the amount of diet and exercise I've been doing would have equivalated to twice the amount of weight loss.

It is especially frustrating when you watch a guy, in this case my husband, eat and eat, and drop weight like it's nobody's business.  He is without question, disciplined, and he is a results oriented guy, but I wouldn't say he's working harder than me.  He has less to lose, yet can lose it faster and easier.  I can somewhat deal with this fact but for the feeling of superiority that comes along with it.  That advisement he likes to give me as if he is some fitness expert and I am just some fat barbie in a pink track suit spinning my wheels at the gym. The truth is, if what worked for him, worked for me, well then I'd be able to drink coffee all day instead of water, have beer on the weekend, eat giant bowls of peanuts in between each meal, have the occasional ice cream sundae, and my workouts would be just a little bit of sparring with the boxing man in our garage.   My regimen has been a little more involved than that.

Men just don't get that our bodies respond differently; that it is a much bigger hill to climb, and that he who just entered his thirties, is having a much different experience than me who is about to enter her forties.  My father did it to my mother her whole life, and my grandfather did it to my grandmother her whole life, tried to convince them of how easy it is to lose weight that is.  I can feel my blood boil when my husband does it to me.  I think my husband is filled with much better intentions that either my father or my grandfather who were often cruel about the matter, but it still makes me angry.  My husband noticed my depressed nature about the situation this week, but probably isn't aware of just how much of a mental game it is for me.

I grew up with a mother who talked about being on a diet, and was quite literally on a diet, every moment of her life.  Not a day would go by that she wasn't attending a Weight Watchers meeting, or buying a new diet book, or going to the doctor for a new pill.  I can recall just how much of my mom's time, how much of her LIFE was spent trying to lose weight!  As a little girl I can remember thinking, "God wouldn't it be easier to just do it already, lose the weight!"  Now I understand just what she was experiencing and how frustrating dealing with defeat felt while others who had no idea what you were going through critiqued your weight-loss efforts.

To this day my mom still buys every diet book that hits the market, despite no longer being overweight.  I guess old habits die hard, but I don't want to spend the next three decades of my life still obsessing about this crap!  My advice to anyone out there with a weight problem is to beat it now, because it sure don't get easier with age!  You can do it at any stage in your life, but the hill gets harder and harder to climb as you age.  It just isn't worth putting off until tomorrow what you can do today.

It is a really depressing fact for me to realize that I have become my mother. Here I am thirty years later staring up at myself like the little girl who once stared up at her mother, saying, "just do it already!"  With all that I saw my mother go through I never thought I'd be dumb enough to fall into the exact same trap.  I'm betting that with all my mother saw her mother go through, she thought the exact same thing.  But here I am.  I guess history repeats itself.

“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.” ~Author Unknown

THE POWER OMELETTE

One of my absolute most favorite things to eat is the power omelette!  What is a power omelette you may ask...??  Well there is one pictured below...

The power omelette is something I came up with years ago during my frantic workout phase.  It went through several stages of development and many critiques from the Juiceman, but I'd say it is near perfection.  I used to come home from a run or a really intense morning workout and feel like I was ready to eat my own arm I was so hungry.  At this point, it is always challenging to make a good meal decision because your body is begging you to restore the calories it just burned.  Naturally, your first instinct is to grab food, and a lot of it!  But you also don't want to flush down the drain all your hard work.  So I present to you the perfect after workout meal!

I like to scramble two eggs.  I've been known to scramble three on occasion and I've also done just one, but you need enough egg as binder to hold your filling.  I season the scrambled eggs with Goya Adobo, which is a blend of salt, garlic, oregano, black pepper, and turmeric, but any seasoned salt will work just remember to use it sparingly.  I add some fresh ground black pepper, because while you can have too much salt you can never have too much pepper, and some red pepper flakes for a little kick.  I like to whip as much air into the eggs as possible using an egg whisk.  This is key in creating a full, fluffy, omelette and I have found the better I whip the egg, the fewer eggs I need!  You need a hot pan, preferably non-stick, though if you have some skills stainless will work just fine on a lower heat.  I like to use a non-stick spray, but there is no sin in using butter or oil.  I just find the egg releases better from the pan using a spray and there is almost no calories involved this way.  Once your egg has set a bit you want to start to pull back the sides with a rubber spatula and tilt the pan to let the liquid egg run to the sides and also set.  You keep doing this until you have a nice, round, semi-solid disc of egg, but you still want some liquid remaining so that your filling has something to adhere to. Then you add your filling to the center of the egg, spreading it evenly.

The filling is the fun part.  I try to use as many vegetables as possible.  Bell peppers, spinach, zucchini, onion, mushrooms, shredded carrot, artichokes, garlic, diced broccoli, avocado, olives, tomatoes, asparagus.  You can also use corn, black beans, different kinds of salsa, diced potatoes.  I try to stay clear of these options because of my paleo commitment, but certainly they add flavor when used in the right combination.  You can also used diced chicken, bacon, sausage, ham, ground beef, ground turkey, tofu.  The list of possibilities is endless!  Some fresh herbs is a must and I've been known to grind some flax seed and add that as well.  Greek cheese is also a favorite.  Whatever you chose, I recommend that you dice or shred the vegetables and give them a quick saute to soften before adding them to the omelette.

Variety is key.  I try to pack as many nutrient rich vegetables into my egg as it will hold and often I've gotten nearly a day's serving of vegetables in my morning meal.  Some of my favorite combinations are wilted fresh spinach, tomatoes, red onion, mushrooms, black olives, and feta cheese (like pictured above) and sometimes with a touch of crumbled sausage, lamb, sage, and mint.  Mmmm...MMMM.... I also love zucchini, asparagus, and bell pepper omelette's with fresh herbs and ground beef.  I met a man at Wegman's who buys every fresh mushroom from Oyster mushrooms to portobellos and makes a wild mushroom scramble with Swiss cheese.  That sounds absolutely delightful, but in order for it to earn the prestigious "power omelette" designation from me and the juiceman, it must contain a minimum of five different kinds of vegetables.  I find the best thing to do is experiment and use whatever you have readily available in your produce drawer.  In fact, it is a great way to rid yourself of some failing produce.

So back to the omelette.  You place the filling in the center, evenly spreading it around.  This is also a good time to add some cheese to help hold things together, and then fold over the omelette to seal.  I fold my in half, some people like to fold their egg in thirds, but if you have a lot of filling that can be difficult.  Let the filling set a bit, reduce the heat so the outside does not burn, and voilá, you have a perfect after-workout meal.  The only thing I've altered from the early days is that I used to serve this omelette on, or with, whole wheat toast.  Being carb resistant, I now skip that step and I've even come up with an alternative.  Normally, you never want your omelette to have a crust or be cooked too hard, but I have found that if I cook my omelette long enough it forms a nice crust-like exterior, similar to a frittata, and it mimics toast for me.  I can't pick it up and eat it as a sandwich, but it gives it just enough umph to distract me from having a piece of bread.  The pic above is an example of this.  It almost resembles a pita, right?  This isn't me not knowing how to properly cook an omelette, this is intentional.

I hope next brunch you try out a power omelette for yourself.  It's a great source of protein, fiber, and vitamins.  It is quite filling without costing you too big a dent in your day's calories.  Happy eating! :-)

“Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.” ~English Proverb

THE GARDEN OF EATING

I did not lose any weight this week.   Sorry to bring you such disappointing news on Weigh-in Tuesday, but I have to keep it real.  My body is probably getting used to the paleo eating.  I still have not reached my twenty-five pound goal and it seems absolutely ridiculous that this many months later I am still fighting just to achieve such a small number.  I WILL MAKE THAT GOAL THIS WEEK!  You can rest assured.

If I'm going to be totally honest here, I did have a flawed week.  The heavy workouts did exactly what Mark Sisson said they would; it stirred up a major appetite and some craving for carbs.  I didn't go berserk, thank God, but I had some things that were more than just a little off the diet.  I do really well on this program and have to say of all the restrictions I've endured in the past, I've had the most success with the paleo diet.  So by no means am I disappointed in it.  Nor am I disappointed in myself.  I think two weeks in a row of losing five pounds and going nearly eight weeks without having any bread, cereal, snacks, sweets, sugar, pasta, or wheat, is pretty impressive.

The longer I'm on the diet, the more of a rhythm I develop.  But one of the interruptions in the beat is, naturally, a desire to eat things not paleo approved.  It is almost like after so many days I can't bare the thought of having another egg for breakfast or another salad for dinner and I have to have something unique.  I do, and generally suffer no consequences, and the next day I am happily eating eggs and salad again.  It doesn't seem to set me back much nor does it cause me to go on a bender like in previous dieting attempts.  It seems to satisfy me enough in the moment to give me the energy to carry on.

This weekend I took it a little further than I normally do and I am certainly paying the price now.  I woke up today feeling out of it, lost, sluggish, more hungry than had I just stuck to the diet, and sorta irritable.  I like to call this phenomenon the "gluten coma!"  LOL.  These moments bring me clarity because it reinforces my belief in this style of eating.   It is not a placebo affect, and in fact, it has benefits beyond weight loss as to how I feel physically.  It solidifies for me that "wheat" is the enemy!

While I may have had some bumps in the road this week, my husband did not. He is remarkable at changing a behavior long term with little to no deviation. I have never seen someone who will give up a substance, or in this case, an entire group of substances, and never look back!  He is amazing at maintaining that level of focus and control and rarely gives in to temptation.  I hope he remains this diligent when it comes to other women...LOL ;-)  He had a little bit of all-natural ice cream last week, ice cream being his nemesis, that and coffee, but nothing too terrible.  In fact, when I deviate it is usually more exotic and I feel like suddenly I have landed in the Garden of Eden, or in this case, The Garden of Eating.  I am tempting Adam with the golden, delicious, apple, which this week, just happened to be a patty melt from Red Robin...LOL Sadly, no regrets there as it was goooood!  The only difference is, my Adam, has the strength not to give in to temptation and ordered grilled chicken and salad off the menu!

"And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat." Genesis 3:6

FAT GIRL MOMENTS

Ruby's experience in New York got me to thinking about some of my own fat girl moments.  I have some pretty good stories in my arsenal, but I'll share just this one.  Every year my family makes a trip to Knoebel's theme park.  It's become a bit of a tradition for us to ride the rides, play games, and eat lots of yummy park food.  I have a pretty courageous attitude when it comes to the rides and since everyone has a different favorite, by the end of the day I've usually been on everything from the roller coasters to the paddle boats.

On this particular occasion, someone in our party requested to ride the train.  Now I wasn't aware there was more than one train, and quite frankly, I didn't see the point of riding this "new" train which appeared to be nothing more than a shorter, slower, more lame version of the train we just rode.  But in keeping with the spirit of everyone gets to pick a ride, I agreed.  It looked like it might be a kiddie train, but it wasn't in the traditional kiddie area and seemed to have a mix of both adults and children in line.  As we neared the loading area I said, "hey guys, I think we're in line for a kiddie ride."  As usual, no one listened.  If we were accompanying some toddlers on this ride the embarrassment would not be as great, but since the youngest member of our party was thirty-two, it must have seemed peculiar.

I am now sizing up the situation and trying to determine how any adult, much less a plus-sized one, is going to fit into this tiny little seat, and I am just loving how a seat belt is required even though this train moves at a speed of two miles per hour.  I start to break into that nervous sweat that all fat people experience when they are about to be confronted with a size constraint.  I am now saying a silent prayer in my head, "please God let me fit, please God let me fit!"  Being far too deep in line to back out now, I push forward awaiting my fate.  I am having flashbacks of those people who are asked to leave the upside down ride after three ride attendants and ten minutes of trying won't close the lap bar.  I remember the clear disapproval of the crowd as people shake their head and I think to myself, "what was he thinking?!"

I see out of the corner of my eye a man who could be a ride attendant or Father Time.  I'm trying to imagine what role this decrepit man could play in the overall operation of this train.  It turns out he has one duty.  To spot, identify, and assist those who might be too large for this ride by giving them a seat belt extender.  One by one, a mix of adults board the train with their children.  Most are able to squeeze into the space, but some need the extender.  Father time is doing a remarkable job of getting help to these individuals before they've even attempted to sit down.  I think he may fancy himself an expert on being able to spot who might need assistance.

So you probably think you know what I'm gonna say, but I assure you, you don't.  LOL.  The cue moves forward and I quickly make my way to the end seat nearest the exit.  If this doesn't work out it will be less humiliating to have to walk past one person, rather than an entire train of people.  I slip into the seat, close my seat belt, and am relieved to discover that not only do I fit, but I can close the "kiddie" seat belt without any help from our friend.  I am patiently waiting for the ride of my life to begin and simultaneously thinking to myself, "see...you are too hard on yourself, you're obviously not THAT fat!" 

I feel a shadow leaning over me as Rip Van Winkle offers me a seat belt extender.  Can he not see that I am comfortably in my seat, buckled, and ready to go..??  I politely refuse and say, "no thanks, we're good!" while proudly showing him my closed seat belt along with a few fingers width between my waist and the safety device.  He then shouts in the loudest voice ever, in front of a train full of people and a line full of onlookers, "THAT FITS YOU!?!?!...WOW!!!...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!"  It's like he prides himself on never being wrong.  I quietly and humiliatingly say, "yes sir, we're all good here."  He continues to mumble "wow, I can't believe that!" as he assesses the next person who may need help while still looking back at me in disbelief.  I could feel the flushed cheeks of my embarrassment while simultaneously feeling my blood begin to boil. 

Never in my life have I been so close to assaulting a senior citizen.  I was fighting back the increasing desire to yell, "WOW, ARE YOU OLD!!  THEY ACTUALLY LET A BAG OF BONES LIKE YOU WORK HERE!?!?!"  Luckily, I got a hold of myself.  I'm not sure what is worse, not fitting the seat and needing a seat belt extender to ride a kiddie ride, OR not needing a seat belt extender to ride a kiddie ride and having a park attendant be floored by this!  My husband laughed about it the whole way home.  "I can't believe that old man said that to you!?!"  Yes honey, that-a-boy, add a little salt to my wounds!  I still continue to ride every ride in the park, opting to skip the kiddie rides of course. I will forever remember this fat girl moment. I bet you will too! ;-) As for Ruby, I wish her well on her journey and leave her, and anyone else who has experienced a fat girl moment, with these words of wisdom...

"Don't let what you can not do interfere with what you can do." -John Wooden

TOO FAT FOR NEW YORK

I watched the season finale of Ruby over the weekend.  In this final episode Ruby goes to New York City to be a guest star on the Rosie O'Donnell radio show.  During her visit she gets a taste of what life in the big city is like for a fat girl.  Making her way through the crowded streets, people are literally bouncing off her hips as she attempts to squeeze her large frame down the sidewalk.  Ruby stops to take a seat only to feel the stares of the crowd as she attempts to put band-aids on her blistered feet.  


Tired from the strain of walking with an extra two-hundred pounds, Ruby decides to take the subway but is reminded once again of her limitations. Ecstatic that she can squeeze through the turnstile, she quickly meets with disappointment when unable to fit the seats in the waiting area.  Within seconds of boarding the train, a woman quickly changes seats to escape sharing space with her.  Ruby tries her best to hide her embarrassment but realizes that even with her sunny disposition and southern charm, New Yorkers are just not willing to look past her weight.  Her last attempt at transportation is a rickshaw.  This time she meets with success as the driver reassures her that his strong legs will enable him to peddle her and a friend to their destination.

Ruby returns to Savannah with an understanding of how prohibitive her size is when it comes to travel.  Despite having lost 366 pounds, her 350+ pound frame is still too much for an airplane seat, a subway ride, or even just a stroll down the streets of New York City.  Being an avid traveler, I can relate to the obstacles and challenges Ruby faces when going out of town.  Despite not being as big, I still feel nervous every time I board a plane.  Will I fit?  Will the seat belt work?  Am I encroaching on my neighbor's space?  


When I was in Europe I can remember being distinctly identified as an American based on my too large size and too casual attire.  When it came time to see the streets via a Segway, I opted to travel on foot due to the weight restrictions.  I was nervous stepping into a gondola in Venice and horrified at the thought of burdening the donkey with my weight on a climb up the cliffs of Santorini.  


Until you've been severely overweight you have no idea just how many everyday things become a challenge for those of a bigger size.  Everything from movie theater seats, airplane seats, to the booth at a chain restaurant is designed with the average frame in mind and can be an emotional terror for those who are imperfect.  Funny how we've managed to accommodate wheel chairs while overlooking the most prevalent population, the overweight.  I don't enjoy contributing to a negative statistic which is why I am making this very necessary change in my life.  Everything in life, especially travel, becomes a more pleasant experience when you can focus on the enjoyment of the experience without any limitations.  I look forward to freeing myself of these physical and mental barriers in time for my next vacation.


"There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror." -Orson Welles

THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE

I apologize to everyone for the interruption in posts this week.  Blogger was down for repairs since Thursday at noon, and was also in "read-only" mode on Wednesday.  Unfortunately the drafts I had prepared got lost during the site maintenance so it's back to the drawing board.  Things appear to be functional again so I will try and recreate the posts I intended for earlier in the week, momentarily.  Thanks for your patience.

-Jennifer

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

Well it is Weigh-in Tuesday and I lost another 5 pounds!  I think that's great and really restores my confidence in this process.  I once again believe that I can do this and there will be an eventual end to all the dieting, stress, and health problems I've been experiencing!  I owe a large portion of this success to the paleo way of eating.  It has definitely pulled me out of my diet plateau and reduced my dependence on carbs.  It has also granted me some other physical improvements like better sleep and fewer highs and lows.

I was able to make it to the gym every day this week.  I am taking today off so my body can rest.  I also had a "normal" meal with my not so normal family yesterday during Dancing with my mother.  I had a Chick-fila sandwich (and yes I ate the roll), waffle fries, and a sundae from Cold Stone.  It was quite a lot of calories for one day, more than I've had in a long time, but it didn't seem to weigh me down in the slightest.  I had a pretty good cardio session beforehand and seemed to metabolize the meal rather quickly.


I know the diet plan recommends limiting your cardio sessions and I have been careful not to over do it, but I love exercising and the gym.  Again, I think this is where you must adapt certain philosophies to suit your personal circumstances which is why I pick and chose from all the information out there. I have embraced enough of the caveman diet to reap the benefits without conforming to the point where I dislike my existence or burn out on a set of conditions that are too confining for me to enjoy personal success.


I feel pretty good about my approach because I am not completely dependent on exercise to lose the weight like I've done in the past, and yet I am also not completely dependent on dieting either, as I am routinely working out and enjoying certain indulgences when the need arises.  So far, so good!  I did not reach my 25 pound goal this week, falling shy by 3 pounds, but I believe I will make it next week.  Here's to hoping!


"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it." -Plato

SO WHERE ARE THEY NOW...??

If you think permanent weight loss is an easy thing, statistically, it is nearly impossible.  Did you know that The National Institute of Health estimates that dieters will regain two-thirds of their lost weight within a year of completing their diet plan?  These same dieters are likely to gain all the weight back plus more within five years.  Still not convinced??  Well let's examine some high-profile cases.


No weight-loss show has gotten more attention in the last decade than The Biggest Loser.  With eleven seasons under their belt, this show continues to dominate even with the huge influx of new diet and health reality shows. While I've always found the contestants inspiring, I've at the same time questioned the authenticity of a show that boasts of one-hundred pound weight losses in as little as twelve weeks.  


I was prompted to do some digging.  I went all the way back to season one's winner, Ryan Benson.  Turns out, he gained back all of the 122 pounds he lost on the show.  He blames himself, citing a new job and the birth of his twin daughters for why he gained his weight back.  What!  You mean life happened!?  It's hard to imagine anyone not being able to lose weight if kept in the microcosm that is The Biggest Loser ranch.  Turns out Ryan is in good company.  Season three contestant, Kai Hibbard was anything but shy when it came time to discuss the seventy plus pounds she gained back.  She makes claims that the show pressured contestants to exercise even when severely injured, to diet by dehydration, and to ignore the advice of nutritionists.  She says the show promotes unrealistic, unhealthy, and even dangerous weight-loss practices.  Not all of the contestants have gained the weight back, but many have- a well kept secret that the show's producers would rather you not know.  I think we'd all be more impressed if the show platform was changed to, "The Biggest Maintainer."


So how about surgery?  That must be the answer, right??  Well does anyone remember Carnie Wilson's very public Gastric Bypass surgery aired live on the Internet?!  Carnie lost 152 pounds following that surgery, then gained seventy pounds during pregnancy, which she then lost after the birth of her daughter. But has anyone seen her lately?!?  She has gained all 152 pounds back plus some more. Apparently even reducing your stomach to the size of a walnut isn't enough to guarantee permanent weigh-loss.  American Idol judge Randy Jackson did a better job of keeping his post-surgery weight off, but he too admits to having gained a significant amount of pounds back.


Probably the most public example of a weight-loss struggle comes from America's sweetheart Oprah Winfrey.  No one has lost and gained weight in front of the camera more times than Oprah.  Watching her fail while having a personal trainer, dietitian, chef, access to the best medical help in the country and, well let's face it, enough money to buy anything or hire anybody she needs, begs the question of how can the average person keep the weight off if Oprah can't do it?!! That's a topic I'm hoping to explore in future posts.  


Not everyone, however, has been so forthcoming or honorable in their weight-loss discussions.  I smell a rat with Wynonna Judd who recently cited a 60 pound weight loss during her Oprah show appearance.  She looked like she was one exhale away from popping out of her too tight pants suit. Seriously, she couldn't even sit down.  When asked how she lost the weight, she said she started walking in the wilderness.  She has also told the media that she is losing weight though "brainwave optimization," a system whereby you discuss your issues while sensors placed on your skull map your brain activity and identify imbalances.  Take it from me, a few strolls in the woods and a brain map doesn't produce the kind of weight-loss Wynonna is claiming.  Nor do I believe that if you let lose the girdle inside her pants suit you would see a 60 pound weight loss.  Maybe 30, but I don't know about 60.  Perhaps it's the ridiculously fake red hair, the orange skin tone, and the clear indications that her and her mother have had a litany of plastic surgery, that makes me suspicious of her claims.


I experienced a similar disappointment when former American Idol contestant, Oscar winner, and now Weight Watchers representative, Jennifer Hudson refused to publicly reveal her weight loss number.  What's the big secret?!  If you want to promote a certain weight-loss program be prepared to discuss how many pounds you lost on it!!  When she finally did reveal the number on The Oprah Show, after much pleading from Oprah herself, Hudson made claims of an eighty pound loss thanks to Weight Watchers.  I have my doubts again.  I don't believe eighty was the number.  She never looked that big to begin with. Sorry Jennifer, a fatty can't fool another fatty!


Either way, I'm not here to judge anyone with a weight problem.  In no way am I attacking or putting down any of these celebrities for their struggles. Quite the contrary, I find their decision to go public with their problem both heroic and educational.  It goes to show that obesity is not a poor man's problem, or a loser's problem, but an every man's problem.


"Reality check.  You can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight.  At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life.  Losing weight is not a cure for life." -Dr. Phil McGraw

NOBODY'S BATTLE BUT YOUR OWN!

If you have not figured this out by now, Tera has once again quit the blog.  She has a good heart and wants so badly for this to work, but it just isn't and I don't believe in forcing a square peg into a round hole.  This is why I didn't change the opening again to reflect that there were two Tillys.  It is not because I don't want her to be a part of this or don't have all the faith in the world in her, but because I know how overwhelmed she is right now.  Nobody understands better than me just how much commitment this takes.  I wanted to give her a second chance because what kind of person would I be if I didn't?! But at the end of the day, this is nobody's battle but your own.  No one can peel this monkey off your back but you.  I wish her well in her weight-loss efforts.  We continue to be good friends, but you will no longer be getting updates on her progress through this blog.  I've learned my lesson and will thus go forward on my own.  My battle.  My monkey.  My blog.  My own!

"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit." -Vince Lombardi

THIS IS HOW I ROLL...

It's not too often a fat girl gets some bragging rights, but today is the day!  I made this for dinner...

Mmmm....mmmmmm!  I bought those Fire Wire bendable grill skewers...has anybody seen these...??  They are perfect if you just have a small grill like I do, as the standard ones tend to hang off the sides.  I threaded these up with some gluten-free chicken meatballs, red, yellow, and orange bell peppers, some red onion, and pineapple.  Then I basted them in a teriyaki sauce and grilled them until the pineapple caramelized.  Holy goodness were they delicious!  Turns out years of being a fat cook has paid off.

I wouldn't want to be on a diet of any kind, much less the one I'm on, and not know how to cook.  The stricter the regimen, the higher the skill set you need in order to keep dinner fresh and exciting.  I know it doesn't take a genius too make kebabs, but they really were scrumptious!  And it is VERY EXCITING when something is a delight to eat and yet completely within the guidelines of your eating plan.  My only complaint is the sodium was a little higher than I'd like from the store bought marinade.  Next time, I will make my own.  But all in all, no complaints!  I knew dustin' off the grill was gonna help us take the cuisine up a notch, and that it did!

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." -Voltaire

THE FIVE POUND BABY

I LOST 5 POUNDS, baby!  Woot!  Woot!  I got some work ahead of me, but I'm all over it!  I backtracked in the last few months so I have a few pounds to get off before I can push this number forward, but I believe I will get there!  If you recall, I left off at twenty-one pounds.  I'd love nothing more than to see that become twenty-five pounds.  We'll see how my body responds to some additional exercise this week.  My husband lost two pounds.  Woot woot for him as well!  Though my sympathies tend to drop off for people who have fewer total pounds to lose than what I've already lost!  :-)~  I have faith in this paleo thing.  I'm sure none of this will happen as fast as I'd like it to, but I believe it will happen!  I love how I feel right now!  Let's see how far I can take this!

"The whole idea of motivation is a trap.  Forget motivation.  Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever.  Do it without motivation.  And then, guess what?  After you start doing the thing, that's when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it!"  -John C. Maxwell

PALEO WAY OF LIFE

I'm sure you must be curious as to what I've been eating on this almost all-protein diet.  I've been trying to keep things simple.  I eat three times a day- breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  (Before anybody writes to tell me about eating four to five smaller meals a day versus three larger meals per day; the grazing thing does not work for me.  I get the concept and the research that supports it.  It just doesn't work for me.  Increasing the frequency of times I eat a day also increases the opportunity for me to OVEREAT, especially if the last thing I had was a grape.  Soon "grazing" becomes an excuse to eat all day long.  It also requires you to have a job where you can just break food out whenever.  I never found this to be realistic.)  Just keepin' it real my friends!  Fortunately, the paleo diet does not mandate such frequency with regard to meals, stating that cavemen did indeed graze, but they also went long hours without food leading to a gorge when a big kill was made.

Having a plan helps.  I prepare some things in advance so they are available to me.  This makes eating a snap and generally reduces the temptation to chose something not on the diet.  You are less likely to go to the trouble of cooking a non-paleo meal, if a paleo meal is already on a plate in front of you.  So one of things I do is hard boil eggs or make egg muffins so I have them available for breakfast.  Because most traditional breakfast items are not paleo-friendly (cereal, oatmeal, pancakes, waffles, muffins, french toast, bagels, English muffins etc.) I find breakfast is the hardest meal to build variety into, unless you learn to eat foods that might otherwise be considered lunch or dinner options.  Having no desire for pot roast before 10 a.m., I have opted for fresh fruit and eggs.  I have one or two hard boiled eggs with a side of grapes, strawberries, or citrus.  Occasionally, I will substitute Greek yogurt when I feel I have had too many eggs.  I do have some dairy on this diet though I try to make it secondary to meat and produce and mainly stick to Greek yogurt and cheeses as opposed to say cracking open a pint of sour cream or some American Singles.  I guess this would be my interpretation of the 80% rule.

I have stumbled upon some recipes for coconut pancakes in my Blueprint cookbook.  I have no idea if they will be anything like traditional breakfast pancakes, but I am willing to give it a try.  If any of you have suggestions for paleo alternatives to traditional breakfast meals, please let me know.  Right now I am in love with making a two-egg omelette with diced tomatoes, spinach, and feta. YUM!

For lunch I have soup or salad.  I find lunch is much easier to keep interesting than breakfast.  When packing work lunches, I will roll lunch meat like you would for a party platter, or pack a can of tuna.  I have also fallen in love with chicken and apple sausages.  I eat sliced apples and celery with almond butter and have eaten marinated tomato slices in olive oil and balsamic vinegar with oregano.  Lunch is pretty easy and just as I get bored I usually think up something new to eat.

My dinnertime meal really hasn't changed much.  It goes something like this, pick a meat, pick a vegetable to steam, and voilá, dinner is served!  The only thing I've done is eliminate the carb (potato, rice, or pasta) that usually shares one-third of the plate.  My husband and I have had filled peppers, short ribs with braised vegetables, pork chops with mushrooms and onions and steamed asparagus.  Yesterday he cleaned the grill and I couldn't be more excited.  I think the grill is a must when eating paleo!  We bought stuff to make kebabs. We bought steaks.  And my friend gave me a recipe for spice rubbed chicken. We even bought some natural, all-beef hot dogs, so we could feel normal. We'll be eating them minus the bun of course;-)

As for exercising I have been very careful to heed the advice of the experts and have temporarily shelved my intense cardio workouts in place of walking and general exertion outside or around the house.  I do not want to trigger any intense cravings for carbs until my body is well adjusted to the new eating plan.  I think this week I will turn the notch up on my workouts now that I've had some time to get used to the diet.

"You know it's time to diet when you push away from the table and the table moves." -Quoted in The Cockle Bar