I'm going to use this concept from the ever popular movie, "Meet The Parents," but I mean it in a slightly different context. Borrowing the tagline, "first comes love, then comes the interrogation," really suits my situation. I haven't been the most forthcoming about my diet and exercise plans, nor have I mentioned to many people that I am doing a blog about it- and with good reason! It is amazing to me that I need to think so strategically about something that should be a no-brainer. But I do, especially since people seem to ask a million questions (interrogation) in an effort to debunk all the positives. Slowly I've been revealing my efforts to lose weight because, well let's face it, losing weight is the one thing you really can't disguise. But the reaction has been interesting to say the least.
This journey has gotten me to thinking about the people in my life. Who really cares about me and supports my efforts, versus those who really don't care, are secretly waiting for me to fail, or are embarrassed at what I am doing. When I tell people about trying to lose weight and how I am documenting the journey online, I get a bag of mixed emotions. Instantly I think to myself, "I didn't say I was planning to knock over a bank, I said I'm trying to lose weight and am keeping a blog about it." It makes me wonder why an already thin person would be so threatened that a large person should want to join them in good health? I guess I can understand that feeling coming from a larger person. Revealing this news has been like a litmus test, checking people for their acidity. If this is how people react and you haven't even achieved the goal yet, you can imagine how wonderful they'll be once you do.
I was talking to someone about my blog and how happy it makes me, and how I love to help others. I touched on how I'd love to write a book some day. The response, "what would you call it...The Yo-Yo Diet?!" Ouch! Sometimes if you're lucky you'll get the very false, "great...good luck with that!" Where you can almost hear them saying aloud, "you're gonna fail at this..." In that moment you want to say, "what's it to you!?" But then it instantly becomes apparent how you doing something well, is a reflection on how poorly they're doing at something. I have one friend who practically sends me a letter of encouragement daily. (She is definitely in the circle of trust) In fact, when my partner dropped out, I think I called her up and said, "could you do me a favor, could you hurry up and gain one hundred pounds so I may have you as my new blog buddy?!" LOL.
People respond to things in very strange ways and I don't always understand the motivation. I just know that I've gotten very smart in my old years about deciphering who I can trust and who's really behind me, and who has selfish motives and an insincere heart. Surprisingly, sometimes the people you think you can depend on are the ones to present the biggest bias against what you are trying to do. Or you have the snoots that are thinking, "how tacky!" Here's the beauty of what I'm doing...I don't give a sh*t what you think! I'm doing what I got to do to get healthy and I can continue to pretend like it's a minor problem or I can actually man up, acknowledge it, and do something about it. Sometimes I swear I reside on the set of "Real Housewives of Berks County."
Maybe your mother is more support than your father, or your mother-in-law is more supportive than your mother. I don't care who it is, or what the relationship, but you best figure out early in the game who's in and who's out! This philosophy can be applied to almost anything in life, dieting, your career, having children, running a race, starting a new hobby, pursuing a new interest, striving for a certain recognition. I don't care where you are in life or what you are trying to achieve, there is always gonna be a team of haters. Figure out your circle of trust today! And don't feel guilty if you need to exclude certain people from things in order to guarantee your success. In the end, YOU have to do YOU! And hey, if people get pissed off at you for it, then maybe this is an opportunity to talk about it. I can only imagine how celebrities feel. You got an entire group of people standing around waiting for you to fail, but reach the top and that same group is calling you for money, friendship, and favors. On the contrary, did you ever notice there are some people out there that despite how little they have, they are still just happy for you.
I used to think that I had to stay friends with everyone and if it was family I had to be extra concerned with what they thought of me. Now I know better. The old adage, "you can't please everyone" couldn't be more true, and usually the person you end up disappointing is you. I know who's in my circle of trust. Hopefully, I can include you, the followers, too :-) Take a moment to identify who is a supporter in your life, and acknowledge them. Equally important, take a moment to identify who is a saboteur, and make the necessary life adjustments to combat them.
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." -George MacDonald
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