Some background music to accompany my angry blog today...LOL. Ludacris Video
If you think I'm a nice person, you're about to think differently after reading this :-)~ I'm exercising my freedom of speech on this one. I just returned home from the gym and I am fired up! Do you know what time it is?? It is, "whoop somebody's ass at the gym" time! LOL. OMG! I HATE January at the gym!! There is no worse time to belong to a gym then January. The huge NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION crowd is taking up every single piece of equipment no matter what time of day it is! Suddenly 2 p.m. is 5 p.m. as you pan the room and realize that you're not going to get even half your workout done today. Who are these people?!? They are the fools that join a gym every January and quit by March! They are not the slightest bit serious about fitness and they make working out ten times harder for the rest of us who are. If I could put a number on it, I would say 89.999% of these people are wasting their time! You know my position on this. If you were serious about changing your life and getting in to shape, it wouldn't take the strike of midnight on New Year's Eve for you to do so!
And these people always need help. Just as I'm settling in to the zone I got Betty Newbie asking me how to get the TV sound to work on her bike. "You have to peddle, Betty!" Help one and suddenly it's like zombies coming after you. Don't get me wrong, I generally love to help people, but I got schooled real quick in just how useless an endeavor this is. I have a friend who is big-time in to his workout and has been doing it for years. For awhile we belonged to the same gym and he used to complain every January. He used to say, "I think I'm just gonna stay home this month." It's like waiting out a tornado. I used to defend these folks and say, "everyone has a right to workout and the gym is not just for fit people!" He used to reply, "but they are not serious...by this same time next month they will all be gone, meanwhile I've been coming here for years and now have to wait an extra ten minutes for every exercise machine!" I used to think he was mean because he would make people with questions go get the staff for help. I can't tell you how fully I appreciate his comments now. Just as you get in to the zone you have to stop and show Cathy Clueless how to use a treadmill, and God knows you'll never see this woman at the gym again. Sean, this blog is for you!
But it isn't just the newbies that drive me crazy. There's a whole list of bad gym behavior that needs to be examined here. I have always lived my life in such a way where I don't worry what others are doing and instead keep focus on what I need to do, but some people make it impossible to keep any focus at all. Not only are they wasting their time, they are wasting my time! Who are they?? Well in keeping with my series on fitness pet-peeves, I'm about to tell you! The following is a list of characters that should be banned from the gym! Their behavior should be highlighted in the rules packet handed out by membership. Does your gym crowd include any of these people?
SMOKEY "THE TOO CLOSE NEIGHBOR"
This is the person that despite there being seven other treadmills available, HAS to choose the one that is right aside of you. As a bonus this person smells like they just climbed out of a campfire. Now look, we all have our vices and this is not an attack on smokers. I have never been addicted to cigarettes but I'm sure like everything else I could be. What I'm saying is if you plan on being a smoker and running on a treadmill (a contradiction right there) could you please, please, make the decision not to chain smoke in your car all the way to the gym. Also, could you please not congregate right in front of the doors smoking as I am here to try and clear my lungs out! I'm not doing cardio so that I can suck in second hand smoke that burns my nostrils. I also get tired of the relentless coughing and throat clearing that seems to be magnified ten times when you got Smokey next door to you. I don't hop on the treadmill next to you smelling like a cheesesteak, and I don't block the front entrance while eating cheese fries. I get smoking is your vice, now manage it!
THE "FRONT ROW" PARKER
Who is Parker? He is the person that will circle the gym parking lot for an hour looking for a front row space. If you do this you seem to have missed the point. You are HERE to workout?!?!? I don't even need to elaborate.
THE BUSYBODY
This is the person that is more interested in what you are doing, than what they are dong. They've come to the gym to do one thing only. People watch! They will walk real slow on the treadmill aside of you and watch your numbers...hmmm she's running at 6.0...look at that, she's burned 400 calories. If you've ever gone to the gym you know what I'm talking about!! You can feel their stare!! And some people are less than covert about it. This group of individuals will exhibit absolutely no focus on the workout that they are doing, and their inability to focus makes you lose focus! Their eyes pan the room constantly, they watch the front door like President Obama may walk in any second, they look at your stats more than their own, and they seem to be completely oblivious to any type of form in the exercise they are performing.
THE BOOK CLUB
This is the group of women or girls who rolled out of bed one day and decided, "let's all join a gym together!" They enter in groups of two, three, or four and seek out the piece of equipment requiring the least amount of exertion. They can usually be spotted peddling at a negative-2 on the bicycles. Their main concern is not getting a good workout, but finding enough empty machines in a row so that they can sit idle, side-by-side, and hold a very loud and uninteresting conversation. GET OUT OF MY GYM!!
THE CELL PHONE TALKERS
This hardly needs explanation as I think it can be applied to every single public situation there is in life, but for today we'll focus on this gym format. I don't want to hear you on the phone. I don't want to ever hear you on the phone anywhere, but especially not the gym!! I don't care if the police are calling to inform you that your car is on fire in the parking lot. Then step outside to take the call! I have strapped on headphones for good reason. Because I want to hear music, not about your friend who was so drunk Saturday that she cheated on her boyfriend. NOBODY CARES!! I can't believe I'm violating my own cell phone policy by saying this but....TEXT!!!!!! If ever I've seen a situation that calls for using the keyboard- this is it! A simple "I'm @ the gym- call u later!" will suffice!
I ONLY WORK MY UPPER BODY
How about the guys who show up to only work their arms and shoulders?? They look like "The Rock" on top and "Urkel" on the bottom. If you chased them down the street they'd probably collapse after three minutes because they NEVER do cardio! Nope, just arms. These guys are every bit as bad as the women who won't use weights. Especially when they think super-toned arms is gong to somehow camouflage the spare tire they have.
To all these people I have only one thing to say, "Move b*tch, get out the way, get out the way b*tch, get out the way!"
Everything I'm saying may seem incredibly cruel, but this is what years of gym going has taught me. Exercise requires a great deal of concentration and focus. It is a mental game. You must talk yourself through every mile and if you are using weights you must focus on form. Anything less and you are wasting your time and maybe even inviting an injury. The gym for me is a very autonomous activity. I go there to be alone with my thoughts and join my body to my mind in the healthiest of ways. While it is nice to have a workout buddy, going to the gym with friends usually equals more talking than doing. I won't even take my husband most days because then you become the starer who watches what he's doing the entire time instead of remaining focused on yourself.
I hope my gym returns back to normal soon, but in the meantime I will continue to vent to you, my audience. Tune in next time for part-two of my continuing series on fitness pet-peeves and the aggravations of the gym.
“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.” -Stephen R. Covey
If you think I'm a nice person, you're about to think differently after reading this :-)~ I'm exercising my freedom of speech on this one. I just returned home from the gym and I am fired up! Do you know what time it is?? It is, "whoop somebody's ass at the gym" time! LOL. OMG! I HATE January at the gym!! There is no worse time to belong to a gym then January. The huge NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION crowd is taking up every single piece of equipment no matter what time of day it is! Suddenly 2 p.m. is 5 p.m. as you pan the room and realize that you're not going to get even half your workout done today. Who are these people?!? They are the fools that join a gym every January and quit by March! They are not the slightest bit serious about fitness and they make working out ten times harder for the rest of us who are. If I could put a number on it, I would say 89.999% of these people are wasting their time! You know my position on this. If you were serious about changing your life and getting in to shape, it wouldn't take the strike of midnight on New Year's Eve for you to do so!
And these people always need help. Just as I'm settling in to the zone I got Betty Newbie asking me how to get the TV sound to work on her bike. "You have to peddle, Betty!" Help one and suddenly it's like zombies coming after you. Don't get me wrong, I generally love to help people, but I got schooled real quick in just how useless an endeavor this is. I have a friend who is big-time in to his workout and has been doing it for years. For awhile we belonged to the same gym and he used to complain every January. He used to say, "I think I'm just gonna stay home this month." It's like waiting out a tornado. I used to defend these folks and say, "everyone has a right to workout and the gym is not just for fit people!" He used to reply, "but they are not serious...by this same time next month they will all be gone, meanwhile I've been coming here for years and now have to wait an extra ten minutes for every exercise machine!" I used to think he was mean because he would make people with questions go get the staff for help. I can't tell you how fully I appreciate his comments now. Just as you get in to the zone you have to stop and show Cathy Clueless how to use a treadmill, and God knows you'll never see this woman at the gym again. Sean, this blog is for you!
But it isn't just the newbies that drive me crazy. There's a whole list of bad gym behavior that needs to be examined here. I have always lived my life in such a way where I don't worry what others are doing and instead keep focus on what I need to do, but some people make it impossible to keep any focus at all. Not only are they wasting their time, they are wasting my time! Who are they?? Well in keeping with my series on fitness pet-peeves, I'm about to tell you! The following is a list of characters that should be banned from the gym! Their behavior should be highlighted in the rules packet handed out by membership. Does your gym crowd include any of these people?
SMOKEY "THE TOO CLOSE NEIGHBOR"
This is the person that despite there being seven other treadmills available, HAS to choose the one that is right aside of you. As a bonus this person smells like they just climbed out of a campfire. Now look, we all have our vices and this is not an attack on smokers. I have never been addicted to cigarettes but I'm sure like everything else I could be. What I'm saying is if you plan on being a smoker and running on a treadmill (a contradiction right there) could you please, please, make the decision not to chain smoke in your car all the way to the gym. Also, could you please not congregate right in front of the doors smoking as I am here to try and clear my lungs out! I'm not doing cardio so that I can suck in second hand smoke that burns my nostrils. I also get tired of the relentless coughing and throat clearing that seems to be magnified ten times when you got Smokey next door to you. I don't hop on the treadmill next to you smelling like a cheesesteak, and I don't block the front entrance while eating cheese fries. I get smoking is your vice, now manage it!
THE "FRONT ROW" PARKER
Who is Parker? He is the person that will circle the gym parking lot for an hour looking for a front row space. If you do this you seem to have missed the point. You are HERE to workout?!?!? I don't even need to elaborate.
THE BUSYBODY
This is the person that is more interested in what you are doing, than what they are dong. They've come to the gym to do one thing only. People watch! They will walk real slow on the treadmill aside of you and watch your numbers...hmmm she's running at 6.0...look at that, she's burned 400 calories. If you've ever gone to the gym you know what I'm talking about!! You can feel their stare!! And some people are less than covert about it. This group of individuals will exhibit absolutely no focus on the workout that they are doing, and their inability to focus makes you lose focus! Their eyes pan the room constantly, they watch the front door like President Obama may walk in any second, they look at your stats more than their own, and they seem to be completely oblivious to any type of form in the exercise they are performing.
THE BOOK CLUB
This is the group of women or girls who rolled out of bed one day and decided, "let's all join a gym together!" They enter in groups of two, three, or four and seek out the piece of equipment requiring the least amount of exertion. They can usually be spotted peddling at a negative-2 on the bicycles. Their main concern is not getting a good workout, but finding enough empty machines in a row so that they can sit idle, side-by-side, and hold a very loud and uninteresting conversation. GET OUT OF MY GYM!!
THE CELL PHONE TALKERS
This hardly needs explanation as I think it can be applied to every single public situation there is in life, but for today we'll focus on this gym format. I don't want to hear you on the phone. I don't want to ever hear you on the phone anywhere, but especially not the gym!! I don't care if the police are calling to inform you that your car is on fire in the parking lot. Then step outside to take the call! I have strapped on headphones for good reason. Because I want to hear music, not about your friend who was so drunk Saturday that she cheated on her boyfriend. NOBODY CARES!! I can't believe I'm violating my own cell phone policy by saying this but....TEXT!!!!!! If ever I've seen a situation that calls for using the keyboard- this is it! A simple "I'm @ the gym- call u later!" will suffice!
I ONLY WORK MY UPPER BODY
How about the guys who show up to only work their arms and shoulders?? They look like "The Rock" on top and "Urkel" on the bottom. If you chased them down the street they'd probably collapse after three minutes because they NEVER do cardio! Nope, just arms. These guys are every bit as bad as the women who won't use weights. Especially when they think super-toned arms is gong to somehow camouflage the spare tire they have.
To all these people I have only one thing to say, "Move b*tch, get out the way, get out the way b*tch, get out the way!"
Everything I'm saying may seem incredibly cruel, but this is what years of gym going has taught me. Exercise requires a great deal of concentration and focus. It is a mental game. You must talk yourself through every mile and if you are using weights you must focus on form. Anything less and you are wasting your time and maybe even inviting an injury. The gym for me is a very autonomous activity. I go there to be alone with my thoughts and join my body to my mind in the healthiest of ways. While it is nice to have a workout buddy, going to the gym with friends usually equals more talking than doing. I won't even take my husband most days because then you become the starer who watches what he's doing the entire time instead of remaining focused on yourself.
I hope my gym returns back to normal soon, but in the meantime I will continue to vent to you, my audience. Tune in next time for part-two of my continuing series on fitness pet-peeves and the aggravations of the gym.
“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.” -Stephen R. Covey
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