SANTA'S BELT

While my weight loss may have been a disappointment this week, there are some areas of improvement that haven't been discussed- namely, my measurements.  I noticed that my pants, especially my jeans, were fitting much looser.  Now if you know anything about plus-sized clothing, you know that there is a good deal of stretch built into almost everything!  Headbands, socks, underwear, bracelets, buttons, hats, earrings...LOL.  This is great a safety feature when you are blooming and one that probably keeps you in your clothes a bit longer before having to bump up to that next size.  But it is disastrous if you are losing weight because loose quickly turns to, "I can't keep my pants up!"

Anyone who has ever lost and gained weight before knows that as exciting as it is to drop a dress size, you're not always in the biggest hurry to throw out your clothes and buy new ones.  History has taught you that it is likely that you'll be needing those pants again some time soon.  If you have a lot to lose and are losing weight quickly, well that's gonna be a lot of clothes buying if you plan on replacing your wardrobe every time you drop a size.  I at one point had clothes in my closet that ranged from a size 4 up to a size 24, in fact, I still do.

True story.  When my husband and I were transitioning in-between apartments before having purchased our house, I actually collapsed the closet in the new place where we were staying.  Imagine being at work and you come home to find that that your clothes rack has given way and your entire wardrobe is laying helpless on the floor.  Now I'm sure the folks we were staying with most likely thought I was just a typical girl with a clothes addiction, who needs twelve pairs of the exact same black pants in her closet.  While I LOVE fashion and can be a clothes whore, my closet didn't collapse because I needed twelve different pairs of black pants.  It collapsed because I needed black pants in twelve different sizes so I could keep up with my weight losses and gains.

Destined to solve my droopy drawers syndrome, I headed to the store to look for a belt.  Yes, a belt will certainly solve all my issues.  I was pretty proud of the fact that I had lost two inches in my waist in a relatively small period of time, and so I was feeling pretty good walking to the accessories department at my local store.  My first inclination was, "where do I even shop for a belt?"  Do I need to seek out the plus-size department, do they have "larger" belts in the accessory area, the men's department, maternity???  I wasn't looking for anything special and I was hoping I wouldn't need to make a special trip to the fat girl store just to buy a belt.

As I pan the rack of belts in the accessory department I am relived to see sizes that go all the way up to 3X.  I had already played out a nightmare scenario in my head of me shopping for a belt in the men's department and a store employee approaching me to say, "um, mam those are MEN'S belts, your area is over there," and me having to respond, "oh I know that, I'm just too fat to fit those."

So feeling confident from my two-inch loss in my waist, I grab the 1X to start.  No success.  I move to the 2X.  Hmmmmm....searching, searching, ah yes, I'll take the 3X please!  Except, I'm sucking it in to the point where my eyes are bulging out and still can barely make it to the first belt hole.  You've got to be kidding me!!  Holy frig, I freakin' need SANTA'S BELT!!!  I end up purchasing a 3X belt complete with the stretchy buckle that has a slight expansion when you pull it to the right.  And let me tell ya, if I as much as sneeze, this thing is flying open!  Did I mention it is almost the ugliest belt I've ever seen??

These are the choices you have when you are severely overweight.  Consider it a lesson learned and let's just say I won't be celebrating a loss of inches in my waist any time soon.  At least not until I can fit a prettier belt.  Clearly, I have my work cut out for me!

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.” -Theodore Roosevelt