People so often think that diets are just about physical deprivation. What they fail to realize is that the emotional deprivation is far more excruciating. I get depressed at just the mere mention of a diet because I'm being asked to give up the one thing, and probably the only thing, I so faithfully give myself- food! After an emotionally difficult childhood that paved the way for a stressful adulthood, food has become my best friend. It's the sense of calm, the rush of euphoria, the awakening that happens inside when you have lusted after something all day and you finally get it! Especially when what you truly lust after in life is so unattainable at the time. When I can't make my monthly finances work, when all my hard work at my job has failed to pay off, when my family is making me crazy, I can quietly turn to food and, momentarily, the stress melts away.
When we talk about this journey, what we are really talking about is surrendering a lifelong coping strategy, and not just for a couple of weeks. We are talking about long-term deprivation! If I am fortunate enough to lose 1 pound a week, every week, I will be on this diet 2.79 years before reaching my goal weight. I can not wait to expand on the physical response this type of change elicits, but for right now, think about the emotional. This is not just about having one slice of pizza instead of two. This is about being whole without the one thing that makes you feel that way. It is emotionally devastating. What do you think my mind is telling me when I try to deprive my body of the one thing it has had consistently for the last 37 years?! Try telling your mind it can't have something that every cell in your body is telling you to have! Try telling your mind it can't have something that everybody else can have! It gets very lonely, especially when those around you seem to have a different relationship with their body. It is easy to suggest developing a new habit, but aside from using alcohol or cigarettes, it's pretty difficult to replace something you ingest with an external factor. No matter what case you make for the behavior change, you are making a commitment for a payoff that may be a long way off. It is something that my rational mind knows is well worth the commitment, but trying to get my emotional self to accept that I must spend the next two to three years navigating all of my problems without the extra calories, is far more devastating than any physical hunger pangs.
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