THE RESULTS ARE IN!

Wow!  So much has been running through my mind this week.  I have been waiting on pins and needles for these results- wanting to know the outcome, but secretly dreading the truth.  I have played out every possible scenario in my head, yet nothing has prepared me for the set of emotions I am experiencing right now.  I've had some time to digest the news and so I can say with absolute clarity that the next eight words will be very cathartic...here goes..."I'm not FAT, I have a medical condition!!!"  Okay, so actually I AM fat, but I DO also have a medical condition.  It is called Insulin Resistant.  What that means is my body has stopped responding to insulin and instead grabs every calorie it can get and deposits it as fat.  So no matter how little I eat, I will gradually gain weight.  My cells can not absorb the glucose they need so they signal my brain that I need more carbohydrates and sugar.  The result-persistent food cravings.  Pffttt!!  That's some barrier if you're trying to lose weight!

I am very grateful that the outcome is not more tragic, and I have a deep respect for all those who are dealing with far worse circumstances, but I gotta tell ya, it explains a lot!  I can't believe I didn't know this sooner, like before I gained 140 pounds!  Sadly, all the symptoms are there.  Fatigue- especially in the morning, the extreme cravings, the sleepiness following meals, the rapid/extreme weight gain, the hormonal shifts, belly fat.  I have doubled my weight in approximately 5 years.  (Tera, If I run your calculator that means I roughly gained about 30 pounds every year, or I average a weight gain of about 2 1/2 pounds each month.)  I thought I earned every pound of it!  When you grow up in a household where you hear such insensitive comments as, "you'll never see a fat person in a concentration camp," you learn to accept personal responsibility for your failures even when you know things don't make sense. 

What I have discovered is that doctors can miss finding "insulin resistance."  Often, Insulin Resistant people are able to produce large enough quantities of insulin to keep blood glucose levels near-normal, and they often live a symptom-free lifestyle.  Doctors don't diagnose a problem until the individual has stopped producing insulin completely and has become a full-blown Diabetic.  This is part of the reason why we are seeing such an increase in Diabetes in this country.  It is estimated that more than 57 million people are pre-Diabetic and don't know it.  If you believe your weight is increasing at an alarming rate despite diet and exercise, ask your doctor to check your insulin level.  "Syndrome X," "Metabolic Syndrome," and "Polycystic Ovary Syndrome" are some common terms and conditions associated with "Insulin Resistance."  While I have agreed temporarily to take medicine, exercise and a Mediterranean-like diet is the best approach for combating this condition.  My years of yo-yo dieting certainly has played a part in where I am today, but one thing is for sure, I DID NOT earn every pound of this, but I will earn every pound I lose!