ODE TO MACARONI AND CHEESE

I had a different idea for today's blog, but after reading Tera's entry I changed my mind.  You had to go there Tera!  You had to mention the "M&C" words!  When we talk comfort food there is no greater comfort for me than macaroni and cheese.  On any given day you can find at least four different macaroni and cheese products in my home.  Dry, frozen, organic, homemade- I got it all and when I don't have the instant variety, you can best believe I have ingredients on hand to whip up some delightful pasta and cheese masterpiece.  I wish I could place giant billboards all over town that have pictures of me and a big bowl of macaroni and cheese.  They'd read, “if you see this woman engaging in the following behavior, please contact the local authorities immediately!"

I have always loved macaroni and cheese and have fond memories of watching my mother bake a casserole, sometimes two, of the most heavenly creation.  As if mac and cheese isn't heart stopping enough, there was a homemade cheese sauce she used to prepare, thick with white cheddar and flour, that you could ladle on top of your serving should your portion be too dry.  She always made this dish with a fantastic, buttery, breadcrumb crust on top, and let me tell you, in our house it was never served as anything but the main course- no side-dish here!  Sometimes she would serve it with a dollop of sour cream or a side of stewed tomatoes, "to cut the fat," as she likes to say (shaking my head) LOL.

Ahhh...moments like this give me some clarity.  When I think about all the careful eating decisions I've made most of my life, it puzzles me that I've become this size.  Then I remember the macaroni with cheese sauce and I go, "yep, that might have done it!"  I think my mother eventually threw away that recipe in favor of a healthier version, but there is no landfill deep enough to keep me from searching for it if I knew where-about it was.

When I talk about the intense carbohydrate cravings I have had in the last five years, it is specifically macaroni and cheese that has called to me on so many occasions.  The rush of euphoria I experience afterward is incomparable to anything else, not even pizza (my second love) can come anywhere near it.  So I have stayed away from my one true love for about two weeks now, and I must say the cravings are subsiding.  I know I will be able to enjoy eating it again with a small degree of moderation, but for right now I must do what is best, which is to keep all of those trigger foods at bay.  I have a technique for dealing with my cravings which I will happily share with you in an upcoming entry, but for right now, may we please have a moment of silence as I bid farewell to macaroni and cheese...

“Thou art to me a delicious torment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson