WHY oh why does it have to be cold in TEXAS? Yes, I do know and love the northerners out there, and appreciate that you've been shoveling snow and buying fuel oil but I expect to be painting my toenails and wearing flip flops. Boo.
Cold weather brings about this innate need to get all nest-y. The first thing coming to my mind SHOULD be warm fuzzy socks, an extra quilt on my bed and toasting my face by the fire. The things ACTUALLY coming to mind are extra creamy hot chocolate, a big bowl of cheese soup (>>>hug<<< to Jennifer for the culinary mishap) or stew, oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon, just your hearty, heavy, hunker-down-and-nest comfort foods. So with our arctic blasts from the north come the desire to eat and snuggle under a blanket and keep warm, neither of which are conducive to shedding any pounds.
I have also somehow decided that this is the week that I am doing a de-tox. I find it very ironic that sometimes things related to food are also related to actions taken to get clean from drugs. Its a very complicated psychological thing that goes all the way back to birth I think with the nature vs. nurture concept and then also the comfort that comes from being fed and cared for. Humans are creatures of habit; it has been proven that when only basic needs are met- food, water, shelter- that survival is not guaranteed, that we need the nurture to be healthy and to thrive. When there are emotional trianwrecks in our lives and the sense of security is inconsistent/absent, we look for a replacement to restore order. For some of us, the consumption food and being cared for become so intrinsically synonymous, that I think they almost become interchangable so that when these trainwrecks happen, we eat to feel better. So what happens when the trainwreck is more like a chronic affliction? My opinion is that we become chronic overeaters, trying to fill a bottomless hole. You never even realize that you are all that unhappy because you have been that way for a while, it just becomes a way of life.
At least that's the way I am thinking it has worked out for me. My dad drank my whole childhood. I had to deal with parental dischord and financial distress my entire life. I never even really realized that it wasn't normal. There's also the issue where I was expected to eat everything served to me. I wanted to please my parents, so I did, even if I was full- even after I was on my own and old enough to know better. The trend was there, and it is so hard to break.
SO, I am de-toxing. De-toxing from chemicals, de-toxing from sugars, de-toxing from fatty foods. I am trying to re-train myself in the appropriate way to eat. I am spending this week on a "clear food" de-tox. Water, unsweet tea, broths, whole grain rice, whole grain cereal, light soy milk, to try and cleanse my pallet and get a hold of my life. I want to eat to live, I don't want to live to eat anymore. Its been a tough day. I am finding that I am not actually PHYSICALLY hungry...but I have been having urges to eat all day long that I have to fight. I am praying that I am mentally strong enough to do this. By doing a drastic pallet cleansing, I am hoping to awaken the ability to taste and appreciate the flavors that healthier food choices have to offer.
How is it that we allow ourselves to get so busy and so broken and not even know? Onward and upward!
Try almond milk instead of soy. Research (for what it's worth) has indicated that soy milk causes breast cancer.
ReplyDelete